where is my happy ending
by Marvels PLL gleek
Summary: Alison has lost everything and every one. Emison. Takes place after summer final except Mona didnt die in my version. M for self harm I suck at summaries.
1. 1

**this is my first Emison fanfic. Warning it involves self harm so if your not comfortable with that then this probably isn't the fanfic for you. This is set after the summer final but Mona didnt die and them setting up for Christmas hasn't happened but the Emison scene/fight did. Hope that makes sense!**

**I don't own PLL or any of the characters. Reviews are welcome!**

**Alison pov**

"I don't know, are you?" Ever since that conversation all I could think of is they really think I would do this to them. That I would do this to her. "If only I told her before A" I whisper to the four walls of my bedroom. I hear my phone vibrate and look down. -Be home late again, sorry Alison -Dad -sighing I set my phone down and leave my room. He has been avoiding me like the plague since mom died, only to be there when the cops questioned me about some other thing they didnt believe in my kidnapping story. I decide to walk around rosewood because home is the last place I want to stay. To many memories of everything and everybody. To many memories of mom, the girls, even Jason that I couldn't bare to witness for another minute. As I walk I hear her, Emily. "Shit" I say scolding myself as I turn around but just as I do I glimpse Paige. Just keep walking, I think, just keep walking. Finally I make it back home, lock the door and run upstairs.

"Shes happy now Ali, happy without you. She hates you, Emily hates you just like everybody else." I chant while sobbing on my bedroom floor. Slowly I get up and move to the bathroom and rummage threw the drawer and pull it open. There is the little razorblade that has been there for me for the past year. It never leaves. I look down at it and begin to leave little red marks on my toros. I deserve worse then this pain I feel. Nobody here even wants me anymore. Not Aria or Spencer or Hanna or even Emily. Why are you still here, I consider. "There is no reason." I tell myself. Years of hating who I was, who I am all come crashing down and I realize more then ever that I don't deserve to be here anymore. Emily and the girls deserve to be happy and all I do is lie, sinking them deeper and deeper. If I'm gone they can be free of A, free to live like normal teenagers. Paige makes Emily happy, she should be with Paige not me. I have always known I loved her but I'm not good enough. She deserves the best, that is something I am not. Getting off of my bathroom floor I clean my stomach of, wincing at the new scars on my stomach. *beep beep ding!* I hear and walk to my phone. Thats weird I thought it was on vibrate. 2 new text messages, the screen displays. The first one is from my dad again, -last minute business trip. Be gone till Thursday night. Love you.- Great just great. Thats in 5 days. Today is saturday. The next one is a text I have been fearing for the past 3 years. People can try to save you from me but they can't save you from yourself. Look at whos still in your corner. Nobody. -kisses A. Ps nothing is ever locked so don't bother. I start to shake and drop my phone. A was right. Nobody could save me and nobody was even her to help me. After a minute I compose myself and rereading the text. A was in my house when I was in the bathroom. Shaking my head, I walk down stairs, grab a pen and paper and begin to write.

_Dear Emily, Aria, Spencer and Hanna_

_I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you guys and I'm sorry I couldn't be the person you all wanted when I got back. I just piled on lies instead of coming clean because thats all Ive ever known to do. I left to avoid A dragging you all into the mess I started by being rosewoods biggest bitch. You guys deserve to be happy and lead normal lives and thats why I'm doing this. Aria, your going to be an amazing writer and Ezra is a lucky guy to have you. Spencer, Penn state will be a very lucky university to have you as a student. You and Toby are adorable by the way. Hanna, you are going to be an amazing fashion designer and don't give up on Caleb just yet. Finally, Emily, I'm sorry for everything I've ever done. For playing you and for when I did admit my feelings for you not listening to you like I should have. You deserve the best and I'm not that so when u read this I don't want you to be sad I want you to move on and live your life. Be who you want to be and just be happy. I love you._

_I'm gonna leave you four so you can be happy and maybe if I do this A will leave you all alone._

_Yours truly_

_Alison_.

After writing the note I decide to hand deliver the note to Emily's door so I grab a envelop and seal the letter inside it. I begin to walk to Emily's house, remembering the last time I was here and before I realize it I'm at her door. I hesitate, breath and then knock. I wait a couple seconds and go to knock again when the door opens, to show her beautiful face.

"Alison what are you doing her" Emily says with a Stone cold expression.

"To give you this" I say as I give her the envelop, "read it later tonight and please don't rip it up until after you read it."

"I will read it whenever I want Alison" she says with her hands on her hips.

"Fine read it when I leave. I don't care just read it ok. Please it explains what I am willing to tell. I'm sorry Emily." And with that I turn and run away leaving her with a stunned expression. 10 minutes later I run threw my house to my room and start picking out my cloths. The only ones I wear when something fancy or important is happening and start to change. A white lace dress and black blazer. I go to my drawer and pull out a belt, string it to my bedroom door and set up the chair. Sitting down on my bed for the last time I grab a photo of us the summer before I ran away. Us all smiling together and I began to silently cry. They should be happy again I think as I step up off my bed and onto the chair. Kicking the chair from under me everything begans to fade away. Just before it all goes black I here a scream, its Emily's scream. Then I hear nothing and the only thing I can see is eternal darkness.


	2. 2

**this is chapter 2. Chapters won't usually be posted this fast and often I'm sorry to say. I don't know how many chapters this fic is gonna have but they should be about the size of this one and the last :) **

** Warning: self harm. I don't own anything PLL related! Reviews are appreciated!**

**Emily pov**

Alison just dropped off a letter and ran. She didn't even stay to explain what the letter was about she just ran away as usual, without a second thought. As if I want to read her letter I declare to myself as I set it on the kitchen table. Grabbing a glass of water the letter starts to almost mentally beg me to open it. Within 2 minuted of Ali leaving my house I sit down and begin to read. 5 minutes later and several times of re-reading it, I see two tear drops hit the page in front of me. Luckily my mom was in Texas, with my dad until he comes down a week before Christmas. I pretty much was living alone for the next 3 and a half weeks. Without a second thought I grab my car keys and head over to her house as fast as I can. I want answers as to what she means shes leaving. Where was she going and finally, why not just tell us in person, why a letter. By this point if she had personally told us we would have helped her pack probably. Well Spencer and Hanna would have, aria and I would have been a little more hesitant. Thats because tho I don't want to admit it... I love Alison with everything I got in me. She plays me, breaking my heart constantly yet I always come back. I snap out of my thoughts and pull up to her house in record time. Hopping out of the car and locking it because though its rosewood, it can be a bit sketchy sometimes. Knocking on the door I get no response. I shouldn't have just assumed she would go home even if it was her general direction. "Might as well double check" I tell myself and grab the extra key under a piece of wood on the deck that you wouldn't find if you hadn't have been looking for it. I slide the key into the lock and turn the handle to find a eerie quiet house. I quickly go inside and close the door behind me quickly. I walk inside and look up the stairs to find a little bit of light coming from Alison's bedroom. I began to walk towards the stairs when I hear a clunking sound. Without hesitating, I jump into action automatically assuming A is attacking Alison in her house again and run up into her bedroom with speed, to find Ali slumped against her bedroom door. I scream and rush to help her quickly untying her. Checking quickly for a pulse I realize she still has one and is breathing faintly.

"Ali! Alison, Alison don't leave y-you can't leave. You can't leave me not yet." I yell while sobbing. Rapidly reaching for my phone I began to fumble with the password to unlock it.

"Just freaking unlock, damn it!" I scream in a frustrated cry. Finally after the third attempt it unlocks and I begin to type 9-1 and thats when I feel a hand brush my leg.

"Em?" I hear in a raspy voice. I drop my phone and look down to find a pale Alison attempting to speak.

"D-Don't... ca-all... please". Grabbing her I pull her into the biggest hug I've ever given, letting out a breath I didnt even know Iwas holding and start to cry even harder.

" Alison Di-Dilaurentis, don't you ever... ever do something to me like this ever again." I say grabbing her even tighter completely forgetting about my call.

"Em don't call please please don't call... If my dad finds out, he will send me away. He will think I'm even crazier then what he thinks now... Ive already lost everybody else I can't lose him to." She says while she coughs. Pulling away, I examine her face finding little reassurance in the fact that a bit of her colour is returning to her face.

"Alison... Ali why... Why leave like this." I only asked because I truly don't understand. Why leave like this.

"Because there wasn't anybody else to be here for. All my family is dead or can't even look at me. My friends turned on me. Even you..." her voice cracking as she continued."...you left to. The person I loved most in this rotten A filled world. You left me and began to question if I was A. If I had taken the game from Mona when all along I was trying to protect you." She tells me. Without a thought to Paige or A or anything else I leaned it and kissed her. I pull away and Her face afterward was priceless. It was worth everything she had ever done to me.

"I won't call Alison but I'm staying here with you for the next few days. I don't care what anybody else says." Grabbing her hand I pull her carefully off the ground where she was laying and her blazer pulls up just slightly to reveal little red marks. I gasp and let go of Ali's hand dropping her back to the ground. Though it is only a couple of feet Ali lays flat against the ground and whimpers.

"What happened to your arm Ali." I ask quietly, internally begging she didn't do what I think she did.

"Could you at least say sorry for dropping me" she snaps gasping trying to catch her breath. I can see through it though as a giant diversion. Before I can offer to help her back up again she shuffles so she is leaning against her door. Most of the colour has returned to her face by this time and I look down.

"I said, marks on your arm Alison, what are they." Saying firmly but with a hint of worry.

"They are nothing Em... Don't... Don't worry about it. Maybe you should go home."

"I already told you I'm staying with you for the next couple of days and don't change the subject. What are they Ali."

"Scars" she says in a voice just above a whisper, "They are scars from cuts." She looks up at me, pauses and walks to sit down on her bed.


	3. 3

**Hey these past couple chapters have been like super quick to update what is awesome but unfortunately when school gets back I have a really tough semester so I don't believe I will be able to update this quick! This chapter is a little short I know but I wanted it to be Emily POV for some stuff. Warning: mentions of self harm so if your not comfortable with that then this isn't you fanfic. All mistakes are mine. I don't own anything PLL or PLL related**

**Alison pov.**

Sitting on my bed I twist the sheets under my hands. Emily saved me from my attempted suicide by seconds and still is trusting me by not making that call. Looking up I see Emily in the middle of my room still shocked at my confession because I was never this open before I ran. I would have done anything I could have just to get the subject to finally change before but now, I trusted Emily full heartedly. If I ever wanted Emily to trust me again I would have to be honest.

"Whatever questions you have for me em, you can ask them and I will answer them." I tell her truthfully

"I don't know what one to ask first Alison..."

"I have all night, its only 9 pm and there is no school tomorrow so we can talk for as long as you feel like."

"How long Ali?... Have you... Have you been hurting yourself?" she asks as she moves to the end of my bed.

"A little over a year but um... I've never really liked who I was and what I did to people. Especially you. Do u get what I mean by that? Like Does that answer your question?" I ask.

"Ya thanks." She says quickly. Then there is a long silence and I swear you could cut the tension in the room with a knife. I look over to her and find her fiddeling with her hands. Its one of her many tells she has that desclares she has another question but is to shy or polite to ask.

"Emily, I promise you, I won't get mad or something at whatever questions you have for me... I'm going to answer them all the best I can, all of them. I owe you that much." I say softly.

"Why didn't you tell me Ali? I would have, could have helped you."

"Because you already have A to deal with and trying to live a normal life and your attempting to fix things with Paige. I didn't want you to worry about little old me when there is more portant things to worry about. Just so you know, I would have told you way before I would have told the other girls about any of this."

"Goddamn it Alison. Don't you see that there is no Paige and I when you are around. She will always become my second choice when there is a possibility of having you instead. I freaking love you Ali, and for you to do this to yourself..." she says with her voice cracking"...for you to hurt yourself so bad and not tell me cause of you wanting to protect me, it kills me." She says with her eyes glistening. "My last question till later. Have u cleaned any of your cuts Ali? Because they can become infected."

"No I didnt" I mumble in a small voice hoping she did not hear me. By the look on her face though it tells me she did. Slowly she stood up and made her way in front of me on the side of bed.

"Ali" she started. "Ali, look at me." I rapidly snap my head down even father from her face then before. Away from her cocoa eyes that could make me do anything with just one look. Out of nowhere I feel a hand under my chin gently lift my head up and as a result I face the eyes I had been avoiding.

"Ali, hun, we have to clean them. You can do it by yourself or u can get me to do it or we both can do it together. Doesn't matter to me it's up to you."

I shake my head and feel the tears pooling in my eyes. I blink quickly and look at her "can you help me please?" I ask.

"Of course hun." Emily replied with a comforting tone. We get off the bed and the go to the bathroom. When we get there, I turn away from her suddenly nervous. I hate the way I look. The way my body looks.

"Emily can you just turn to the door so I can undress please?" I tell her hoping she doesn't hear my voice cracking.

"Sure Ali." She says and I faintly make out the sound of her feet turning away from me. Looking over my shoulder, I see that I was correct and she is looking at the door. Quickly I take off my shirt and shorts, leaving me in just my under garments. I turn towards her, Emily still facing the door and say "you can turn around now Em." As she turns, I look at the vanity above my sink and zone out, thinking of how each white line, each red angry mark happened. I snap back to reality when I feel a body hug me with so much force I nearly stop breathing again. Regaining some air to my lungs I close my arms around Emily and put my on her shoulder.

"You need to stop doing this Ali. You... You need to promise me you won't hurt yourself anymore. I'm so sorry Ali. I'm so" she chokes out, "so sorry I left you. Please forgive me Alison." I pull away from her and see her beautiful eyes and cheeks are glistening from tears. Slowly another tear begins to fall so I lift my hand up to her face and wipe it away smiling a sad smile.

"Don't you ever apologize. You should have left me years ago. I'm not good for you Em. You should be with somebody kind and gentle and amazing. Emily shouldn't have to be stuck with me. I love you to much to let you do that."

"I don't care what you think anymore Alison. I've been waiting 4 years to be with you. Tried to get over you with maya , Samara, hell even Paige but I never could. I love you Ali and I want to be with you, not somebody else. All I want is you." Looking down I too feel tears begin to fall and laugh for a second before I say.

"We have both cried way to much today."

"Yes, yes we have. Let's get you cleaned up ok Ali." And with that she picks me up and puts me on the counter.


	4. 4

**this chapter I think is kinda long so yay! Warning: mentions self harm I don't own PLL or anything about PLL I just write PLL review please :) also I have twitter if u wanna follow. Its diannas_perfect**

**Emily POV.**

I put her on the counter, wiping the tears away.

"Ali this is gonna hurt so I'm really sorry in advance" I say as I grab a stack of alcohol swabs. All she does is nod. Opening the package, I stop for a second.

"If you're thinking about how ugly I look right now, I already now Em." She whispers. I gently move both of my hands to to her face and make her look up into my eyes.

"You are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen Alison. You. Are. Beautiful." I state softly because I mean every word. She is the most beautiful living thing on planet earth, in the universe even. Keeping my hands on her cheeks I continue because I can tell she doesn't believe me.

"Alison Dilaurentis you are so beautiful. The most beautiful person in the world. The first time I met you, we were 6, and even then I thought this girl is amazing. Beautiful and amazing. Trust me on this ok. Every time you start to think your not beautiful, text me and I will prove to you that you are." She smiles a small smile and nods again before saying "Ok. I love you Emily, I love you with everything I have. Hope you know that."

"I know now Ali." I say while smiling for a second and then resume taken out the alcohol swab from its package. I place it in the palm of my hand and grab her right arm. It has more red lines and marks then the left. I look at Alison and see shes looking away, towards the wall diagonal to her. Leaning down, I press a small kiss to the first cut and then swab and then another small kiss on the same red line. I look up making sure what I am doing is ok to see Ali looking straight at me with so much love, I think I might burst. Her eyes again tainted with unshed tears that she refused to let fall. This continued on with each line, Mark, scar on her arms and then torso. I still couldn't believe she thinks, thought she was ugly. By the time I'm almost done her stomach, I've gone through my stack of alcohol swabs.

"Do you have any more Ali?"

"Anymore what? More scars or swabs?" She asks clearly confused.

"Both." I state quickly.

"Oh um yes to both of them..." She looks down to her legs and hips, a place I completely forgot to look at for marks. "There are more swabs in the first aid kit im the kitchen, under the sink."

"Ok sit tight Ali, I'll be right back." I say reassuring her as I leave to grab the kit from the kitchen. I'm down stairs when I hear a knock on the door. Quickly searching for the first aid kit, I hit something hard. Another knock came and I finally found the kit, set it on the counter and ran to the door.

"I'm coming give me a second" I say opening the door.

"Paige... Um hey... What are you doing here?" I ask stumbling over my words.

"More like, what are you doing here? Why the hell are you with Alison! I know shes here to so don't say she isn't her bedroom light is on!" She screams at me.

"Paige calm down. Don't do this here right now, ok." I say trying to keep my cool but failing slightly.

"Oh really! You're cheating on me with her aren't you. Well shes just gonna freaking break you're heart again and I'm gonna have to pick up the pieces. Or are you to stupid to see that. God Emily wake up!"

My eye's go wide in shock. I was not some naive 15 year old girl anymore, following Alison everywhere.

"I'm done Paige. I am so done with being with you. You don't own me, you don't understand me. You think you do but you don't and you will not tell me who I am and what will happen. Alison loves me so you are wrong Paige. You and I are done." I say, not hearing Alison come down staires. She comes up behind me and wraps a hand around my waist. Looking at her I see she is wearing a pair of sweats and a lose tank. Ali looks like she is about to kill Paige so I assume she heard what she said to me.

"You don't get the right to talk to her like that Paige. I would never, ever hurt Emily again. And also Emily doesn't need you to pick up the pieces ever she is way stronger then that. So I suggest you leave before I call the cops for trespassing." She states firmly.

"You did this. You took her away from me. Emily's going to realize that you're not worth it and come running back to me. Then everybody in this town will hate you officially." Paige yells at Ali as if I wasn't there witnessing what she was saying.

"Paige I think you should leave now. You have said your part. I'm sorry but there is no you and me. We are done." I say calmly.

"Don't worry I will but Alison your going to get what you deserve one day and nobody is going to be there to protect you. Nobody in your corner to help you and I can't wait for that day." Paige says burning holes into Ali with her stare.

"Keep talking pigskin." Ali says staring back with her signature look. Paige turned around clenching her first and turns back to Ali punching her in between her left cheek and eye. Gasping, I check Ali and go to turn to Paige to find her already at the end of the drive way turning onto the street. Looking back to Ali who is clutching her cheek and eye she says, "It isnt a big deal I'll be fine Emily."

"Come on Ali." Grabbing her arm gently, guiding her to the kitchen stool. She sits down while I grab some ice and wrap it in a cloth.

"Eventful night." Ali says bitterly.

"I am so sorry Ali I didn't know it was her at the door till I opened it. Here, some ice." I say giving her to ice filled cloth.

"It's fine, I don't blame you Em. I should be the one apologizing. I said some aweful stuff to Paige. I shouldn't have called her pig skin... I just heard what she said to you and lost it. She had no right to talk to you like that. I'm sorry for acting like that."

"Ali hun I freaking love you, it's ok." I say before pulling her in for a kiss.

"Ok thanks for understanding." Ali tells me pulling away. I step away from her leaving against the stove and see the first aid kit remembering that I still need to clean some more marks.

"Its late Em. We'll do the rest tomorrow." Ali says as if she could read my mind.

"Fine let's go to bed." I say, walking out of the kitchen towards the stairs. Ali follows into me into her room and sits down on her bed.

"Do u mind if I borrow a pair of sweats?" I ask.

"Sure, bottom drawer on the right in the closet she says while slipping under the covers. I start to change when I here her sigh letting me know that she is already asleep. Once I'm comfortably dressed for bed, I check my phone, 1:17 am. Knowing Ali she will be up at 7 am tomorrow even though its the weekend so I decided to sleep. Slipping under the covers I spoon Ali and just before I drift off, say "I love you.''


	5. 5

**hey another update what makes 3 in one day! Hope you guys like the story and please review fave and follow! I don't own PLL and warning mentions of self harm.**

Ali POV.

I wake up early as always due to school routine. On the weekdays I barley can make it to school without falling to sleep but on the weekends I wake up really early. I realize I'm on top of something. Correction, on top of someone. I slowly sit up and see that it was Emily I was laying ontop of. She snuggles some more under the covers and I smile because she looks so peaceful. Getting up off my bed, I make my way to the bathroom. Shuffling, I finally reach the bathroom and look in the mirror. To say my eye was bruised would be an understatment. My left eye and top of my cheek where both dark black with a tint of purple. Touching my eye I whimper because of the pain. Paige may be annoying but she has a mean punch. All the memories of last night come back and I began to panic.

"Breath Ali breath." I chant to myself trying to calm down but failing miserably. I began to hyperventilate and I can't calm down. The world starts to star up a little bit until I feel a hand wrap around my back, sitting me down on the tile floor.

"Ali, baby breath Ali. Its ok I'm here just breath." Emily repeats, sitting down beside me, until my breathing is finally starting to become even again. Looking at her stunning face, I begin to smile. Relaxing when I'm able to breath, I say a quiet "thank you" and get a head nod in response. Looking down at her for a minute of pure silence, I could practically see the gears in her head turning.

"What is it Emily?"

"What is what? Did I say something out loud, Alison!" she snaps. Taken back by her tone I scoot away from her on the floor.

"No you didn't but I can pretty much see that you're trying to piece something together so spit it out!" I snap back and then sigh, "What are you thinking about Em?"

"When did this all start? The cuts, the self hate, hell when did you start having panic attacks!" She questioned.

"The hate has been for so long I don't even remember when it started. The cuts you already know the answer to sort of and the panic attacks since the very beginning of A. There is a shit load of stuff you can hide behind a smile Emily. And do you know what the worst part is? It's the fact that nobody even realized before I left how unhappy I was. For god sakes everybody asked when I got back though but never really cared to hear the answer. It sucks ok, it sucks this feeling I have inside."

"Why did you panic Ali? This morning."

"Because I told you everything Em. And I still am. I'm letting you in, showing weakness something a DiLaurentis isn't supposed to do. We are supposed to beat everybody at everything and never feel anything. Never let anybody in and I did last night. Thats the first time in my whole life. It is terrifying and I began to panic."

"Oh hun," she says as she scoots towards me caressing my cheek. "You don't need to be afraid Ali. I'm here for you ok I am here and you letting me see the real you, you opening up is a good thing. It means you're human Ali and it isn't a sign of weakness, it is a sign of how strong you are. Pain is not supposed to be lived through alone and neither is life." She states as I snuggle into the crook of her neck.

"I am gonna protect you Ali. I hope you know that." Emily continues.

"From who?"

"From A, Paige, Jenna, even the other girls. From everybody who tries to hurt you." I sigh, always so loyal even when she should run and never look back. With Em still in the bathroom with me I put some make-up around my eye and cover it up perfectly. *ring ring beep!* I hear.

"Let's go see who that was eh!" I state trying to lighten the mood. Standing up, I give my hand to her helping Em stand up. *ring ring beep!*

"Yes ok I get it I'm coming" I say to nobody in perticular, jogging to my phone. 4 new texts messages flashes on my screen when I open my phone. 2 from my dad about something I could care less about. 1 from a add promo. 1 from an unknown number aka A.

"Emily, I got a text... I got an A text." I tell her as she walks into my bedroom.

"What does it say Ali?" Reading it I gasp and drop my phone, walking away from it pacing.

"Read it Emily because I don't want to say it."

**hey I know short update sorry :( ehat do you guys think the A text message says! I want youre imput! please review fave and follow :) love u guys! **

**-alexxus**


	6. 6

**hey! This chapter started serious but then I changed it a bit to be happier. All mistakes are mine! Please please review! Love you all and I don't own anything PLL related**

Emily POV.

The sound of Ali dropping her phone and gasping snapped me out of the daze I was in while I walked behind her.

"What does it say Ali?" I ask automatically knowing who it was from. It was from the person who had made the past 4 years of Alison's life their own personal jungle gym. It was from A.

"Read it Emily because I don't want to say it." She replys while running her hands threw her hair and pacing. I walk towards where she dropped her phone and picked it up. Flipping the phone in my hands I read, - You may have Emily back but thats not going to be for long. Soon you're going to wish Emily stayed away -kisses A.

"Emily. I'm so sorry but you need to leave. What Paige said before was right and even if she was wrong, A will hurt you and that can't happen." Ali says to me quietly.

"That is not your choice to make Alison. I'm not going anywhere. Not this time and I don't care if its Paige or A or even you who wants me out of your life. It is not going to happen." I reply firmly. Ali and I have been through so much and we aren't even together.

"Em I can't let you risk getting hurt by A. I already proved last night I can't protect you that well. A has an army and all we have is eachother. It isn't like the other girls will help me anymore. Face it Emily, we can't take A all by ourselves and unfortunately thats the only thing we have protection wise." Alison says stopping her pacing and turning away from me. "Paige can protect you plus she doesnt have a manic after her. You could be really happy with her." When she finally finishes her speech, my blood feels as if its about to boil. It is my choice not her's. She needs to understand that. I don't want Paige, I want to be with her!

"I don't care. God damn it Ali, get it through your thick beautiful skull. I am not leaving you. I freaking love you I have since 8th grade and even if the whole population of rosewood threatens me I still won't leave you. I already made that mistake once and it will not happen again. I don't want Paige I just want you!" I yell, shaking with fury but then she turns to me all that anger leaves my body. She looks so scared and innocent like a kicked puppy.

"I'm sorry for yelling Ali, I just want you to understand that I'm not going to leave this time. Me thinking you were A was the stupidest thing I have ever thought. I'm not gonna leave I promise ok." I say calming down from my tantrum but the expression on Alison's face tells me shes still scared. Still worrying about everything A related.

"Come here" I say opening my arms to her for a hug. As if that was exactly what she was looking for, Alison ran into me, putting her head in the crook of my neck and wrapping her arms around my waist. Putting my arms around her, we stay like that for a couple minutes. Pulling away I hear "just a little longer" from Ali and continue to hug her.

"Are we going to be ok..." She asks quietly.

"I think so." I reply hoping it to be true. Honestly, I didn't even know what 'we' meant. Alison pulls away before I can think about what she said and begins to walk away, out of her room.

"Where are you going?" I ask.

"To make some breakfast. I was thinking toaster waffels and wiped cream with Berry's. Aka the breakfast of champions." She says lightly with a laugh. Getting up I follow her into the kitchen and grab the waffels out of the freezer.

"Here you go!" I say as I toss her the frozen waffles that fly all over the kitchen.

"Emily!" She says, obviously annoyed.

"Sorry!" I giggle back as I open the fridge to get the rest of the condiments. Placing the whipped cream and blueberry's on the kitchen counter, I see Ali is still picking up random waffels on the ground that are still in their respective packages. Perfect time for an attack, I think to myself as I grab the whipped cream bottle, taking off the cap. Slowly walking behind Ali I prepare to spray her when she says, "don't even think about it."

"Too late" I yell and spray whipped cream in her hair.

"EMILY FIELDS!" Ali screams standing up slowly and turning around. I can't contain my giggling as I set the whipped cream back on the counter beside me. Alison looked as if she shampoo in her hair but never washed it out! I double over, continuing to laugh until I hear and feel whipped cream being poured on my head. Looking up at Ali holding a can of whipped cream with a guilty look on her face. Then she raises her hand above my head and *SPLAT!*

"ALI!" I say looking around the kitchen, that now had whipped cream everywhere.

"Its on like donkey Kong." I say with a fake stern expression. Reaching for some blueberry's, she trys to hide behind the bar stool. Slowly, I walk over to her with two handfuls of berries aimed to fire.

"I surrender! I surrender!" She yells.

"Oh its to late for that Ali." I say as I drop all the berries on her head and run up the stairs, into her room. I quickly close it before she can enter and start to laugh. It was times like these that I love to spend with Alison


	7. 7

**Hey I'm back! Went to school today what was ok. This one is a fluff kinda chapter like the last but also puts forth Ali and Emily's relationship status. I hope u all like it and send me a review as to how I could make this fic better. I don't own PLL or anything PLL related.**

**Alison POV.**

Banging on the door to my room, I call out to Emily to let me in.

"Never!" She replys defiantly. On really now, I think to myself. I start to construct a fool proof plan to get her out of my room and into the hallway. She dropped 2 handfuls of blueberries onto my head full of whipped cream and now was time for payback. Quickly running back to the kitchen I grab a paper plate and fill it full of whipped cream. For the finishing touch, I add a handful of berries on top of the mountain of cream I just created. Running back upstairs quietly I hear her yell out asking where I was. "Wouldn't she like to know." I whisper to myself. Sneaking towards the door swings to, I balance the plate in my hand. Slowly the door opens, covering where I was hidden and out comes Emily. She begins to walk down the hallway, towards the staircase while I quietly follow her. She stops suddenly but I keep walking and tap her shoulder making her jump.

"ALI! I was worried!" she scolds, not realizing the plate behind my back. Em looks down to the ground and I move the plat in front of me still undetected.

"Ohhh Emily." I sing. She looks up and smush I push the whipped cream, berry filled plate right into her face. Taking my hand away from the plate (what falls onto the ground) I see her face all covered in white with the odd blueberry here and there. I begin to laugh, dropping to the ground because of her expression that I could barley see. It was a mix of shock and glee but mainly shock. Then I hear her join in, also on the floor laughing. We finally stop and catch our breath, our faces inches apart. Emily whips her face off a bit with her hands and eats some.

"Gross." I exclaim while she continues to eat whipped cream off of her hands.

"What I do! It tastes great." She replys back, clearly amused by my reaction. We both go silent for a little bit until she asks the question Ive been wanting to ask for the past 12 hours.

"What are we Ali?"

"Whatever you want to be. You know how I feel about you so I will take whatever I can get." I say to her thinking I've clearly stated how I feel.

"I want to be with you Ali. It's always been you, I'm just really scared your going to push me away once we are an item and break my heart again." Em says in a small voice.

"Emily Fields I have loved you just as long as you have loved me and I'm tired of listening to the million reasons we shouldn't work. I'm tired of pushing you away. So I'm going to stop listening to those reasons and fighting life by myself because the only thing that matters is you." I say looking her straight in the eyes so she can see my love for her, not just hear it.

"Ok Ali. You and me." Em says.

"You and me. I can't wait to show everybody that you're mine Em." I reply.

"Bet you 10$ that one of the girls tomorrow at school is happy for us and the other 2 hate us both." She say's sadly.

"I don't care if they hate me because i understand why but I do care if they hate you." I say back. Deciding that the floor was no longer comfortable I get up and offer my hand to Emily.

"Thanks." She says when she gets up and I offer her a half smile. As we walk downstairs she stops half way and looks at me.

"What is it em?" I ask her, confused as to why we have stopped walking downstairs.

"After breakfast aka breakfast at 12 pm we need to talk some more."

"Ok we will get to that but first we gotta eat cause I am starving." I reply as my tummy growls.

"Oh I can tell." Emily says smiling as she continues to walk to the kitchen. Running in front of her I put my hands on her shoulders just as she enters the kitchen.

"Em go watch TV or something I got our breakfast lunch. If u help out, its just gonna end in another food fight and I still haven't cleaned up the last one."

"Fine fine but it better be amazing ." Emily's says sauntering out of the kitchen. What to make, I think over in my head. After pondering for a minute and a half it all clicks and I open the fridge door. Eggs, check. Cheese, check. Milk, check. Perfect, I can make a cheese omelets for her. 20 minutes later, I'm placing two omelets on two plates with some homefries.

"God it smells heavenly out here Ali! Hurry uppp." Emily yells from the living room.

"I'm coming ok." I yell back. Grabbing one plate in each hand, I walk to the living room and set them down on the coffee table.

"This looks amazing. Where did you learn how to cook?" Emily asks, eyeing her plate.

"On the run, I had to work at some different places. Two of those places were dinners so I'm guessing there." I reply.

"Is it good." I ask, nervously as she takes a bite.

"Babe, this is the greatest breakfast lunch I have ever had. You're a natural." Emily says, continuing to dig into her food. I smile wide as I begin to eat also.

"What are you so happy about?" Em questions and I realize I'm still smiling after a minute.

"You called me babe." I say looking over to her and she stops eating, quickly swallowing.

"Is that ok?"

"You have no idea how long I have wanted to hear you call me that, so ya its perfect." I reply as I push my plate away.

"Oh, ok, Good cause I love calling you babe." A long silence envelops us for a couple of minutes until I break it.

"So what do u want to talk about?" I ask. Emily swallows her food and pushes her plate away just like I did, resting her arms on her chest. I start to worry because this is her "I look like I don't care but this is serious" look.

**oooooo what's Emily wanna talk about? Any guesses? Lol**


	8. 8

**hey another update today! Be proud 2 updates in one day even though its a short short chapter :) warning: this chapter is really M due to self harm being the main topic of discussion in the talk that takes place so if you wanna you can skip this chapter. I also own nothing PLL related. Please review :) **

** Emily POV.**

Ali and I needed to talk. This morning was fun but what happened last night can't ever happen again. Just the thought of it makes my heart clench because a world without Alison Dilaurentis isn't a world I would enjoy. I have already been in that world and I will be damned if I have that ever happen again. Alison is like a rose, she has thorns to protect herself because so many people before have hurt her. But if you get to know her, the real her, you see how absolutely breath taking she is, thorns and all.

"So what do you want to talk about?" Alison asks me. Where do I begin, I ponder as I rest my arms on top of my chest. Ali's face goes a little more pale then normal and I can tell she is reading me like the open book I am.

"You." I reply simply and she lowers her head to the ground becoming extremely interested in the carpet.

"Ali please look up." I plead after a minute or two of silence. Slowly she raises her head to look at me and asks, "what about me?" Before lowering her head once again. The courage I had prior about discussing this subject dissipates and I turn into that scared, shy 15 year old girl I once was. 30 seconds passes and I until finally tell her what I mean by "You."

"Alison... I mean about you hurting yourself the way you do. Hun you gotta stop doing that to yourself."

"Don't you think I want that Emily." Ali says back to me getting defensive. "I want that more then the world Em but you have no idea what it is like. To feel this guilt and self hate and just wishing that you would take that cut on your wrist a little bit deeper. You have never felt what it is like to hate yourself. It's like I'm slowly being dragged out to sea and everytime I do what I do, it's like somebody pulls me back to shore and the cycle just repeats itself. And repeats itself and repeats itself." Ali by this point has tears streaming down her face. Her and I have both cried enough the past two days to fill a bathtub and thats ok because after you hold it in for so long you have to eventually let it all out. She wipes her tears away unsuccessfully and continues to talk. "And I'm so tired of feeling so empty and when I um when I hurt myself I at least feel something. Before you left whenever I was around you it was always fireworks and then you left and it went back to feeling nothing." She finishes still crying. I start to feel this build up of rage but I take a few breaths before I say my piece because she has no idea how I feel on certain subjects.

"First off your wrong. I do know what crushing guilt feels like. When you disappeared, I didn't get the chance to apologize and say how sorry I was for that letter. I thought of you being taken or dead and you thinking that I hated you when I didn't. And hating myself was something I was very familiar with for about two years before, during and after you left. You know how hard it was for me to come out and when I did my family didnt accept me for months. So yea, I know how it feels to hate yourself more then what you believed to be possible." My voice cracks on the last sentence but I refuse to break down right now when Ali needs me to be strong. I pause to calm down again and then continue. "Babe I need you to please promise me to stop ok I need you to promise me because the thought of you hurting your skin kills me." Alison reaches over to my hands and places them in her own.

"Emily... I can't promise that. What if I break that promise Em? You would hate me."

"I could never be able to hate you and I promise I'm going to be there for you through everything. Just please promise me you will stop. And every time you feel the urge to you can just call me and I will come over ok?" I say to her.

"Fine I promise I won't can we please change the subject?" Alison begs.

"Last thing. I want you to get ride of whatever you use to hurt yourself. Flush them all whether it be a razor or a blade anything and then we can change the subject and do whatever you want to do for the remaining Sunday we have." And with that Ali gets up and walks upstairs stating she will be right back. Knowing what she has gone to do I don't question her

**so next chapter will be back to fluff and the one after I'm thinking will be school drama. Please review -Lexus**


	9. 9

**Here is another chapter. I kinda like this one just because of how it started serious but then became really happy and so on. Next chapter is going to be school so if u ha e any ideas about that or anything about the story send me a review! The xoxoxo in the middle is a time skip kinda :)**

**Ali POV.**

I leave Emily sitting in the living room. Walking into my bathro I breathe a deep breath before I turn towards the counter top. "This is a new start. A new beginning to be who I am with no walls." I say to myself. This gives me the confidence I need to open 2 drawers and grab my blades. I quickly put them in the toilet and flush before I second guess what I'm doing. Walking out of my bathroom I go back and join Em who is still sitting in the living room.

"Hey, you all good?" She asks when I get back.

"Absolutely perfect." I say back to her smiling. I decide to be bold and sit on her lap. Slowly, I see a smirk appear on her face and she asks with sarcasm, "comfy?"

"Almost." I reply before leaning down and giving her a quick kiss before I get up. "Come on let's go get our cuddle on."

"Ok but we still gotta get some ice cream because what is a movie without some creamy goodness."

"And that is something even I can't argue" I say laughing as we enter the kitchen. Looking around, i see that we had forgotten to clean up our whipped cream war.

"I will clean up while you make the ice cream. It shouldn't take to long anyway. " Em says, grabbing a dishtowel. While she cleans, I begin to make the ice cream, occasionally looking up at her to watch her clean. After a couple moments of staring she catch's me.

"Why are you staring at me?" She asks curiously.

"Because your beautiful." I tell her honestly and yes I know its cheesy and from a book but she just lights up the world.

"You're so cheesy sometimes Ali." Emily says to me.

"Only for youuuu." I sing back as I put the last scoop of ice cream into a bowl.

"Sprinkles?"

"Of course! Sprinkles are the best!"

"And chocolate sauce?" I ask her smiling because of the adorable expression she has on her face ever since I said sprinkles.

"Ali you have known be for how many years? I want the works. Sprinkles, chocolate sauce, Cherry's all of it." She finishes, clapping her hands as I add to her Sunday everything and anything ice cream related.

"All done! Here is your everything Sunday." I announce to her.

"Perfect timing because I just finished cleaning. Who knew whipped cream fights would be so hard to clean up." I snatch our bowls of ice cream and carefully walk up the stairs with Emily in tow. Finally making it to my room I set the ice cream bowls down and sit by my movie collection.

"Babe," I start, "what movie do you wanna watch?"

"It's up to you Ali. I'm good with any movie you choose." Well that didn't help, I think. Well I know she doesn't like overly romantic movies because of how basic the plot lines were. The problem was that was over 3 years ago so I really have no idea.

"Do you still like horror movies?" I ask her hoping she didn't.

"Ya! Naya just stared in one called at devils door. It was so good."

"Great" I say to myself.

"What did you say?" Emily asks while eating her ice cream.

"Nothing, nothing" I answer her, continuing my search for a movie. Finally, I come across one that I have watched before with Em before I left. The Exorcist. She loves this movie more then anything. I remember many of nights when she would sleep over, us watching this and me pretending not to be scared only to stay up all night like a owl.

"Here we go." I announce as I put the movie into the TV my dad just put in my room. Its small and in the corner of my room but it works. My dad installed it just after the girls and I stopped talking. Since we never changed out of our sweatpants, we are dressed perfectly for a movie binge. Plopping down on my bed beside Emily, I grab my bowl of mint chocolate chip and begin to eat. Within 12 minutes into the movie, I have already put my ice cream down and am in her lap.

"I don't ever remember you being this scared." She tells me, wrapping her arms around me.

"Ya well I was and still am terrified. Now let's continue with this movie." She nods in response but pulls me a little closer keeping her arms around me. For the remaining parts of the movie, I kept my eyes shut and jus hugged Em.

"Its done Ali." I hear Emily say after about an hour of hugging her. Jumping off the bed, I run and pick out another movie.

"Thank god too because that was terrifying." I tell her.

"It couldn't have been that bad! You weren't even watching. I swear there is a perminant body imprint from where you were hugging me."

"Yea right I wasn't hugging you that much." I say rolling my eyes as I grab our next movie, switching the two DVD's.

"What we watching?" She asks.

"It is a surprise. You have probably watched it before but it's kind of my obsession right now." The screen goes from black to the harry potter theme song.

"I should have guessed you would have loved this series." I hear Em explain. Slowly I relax and we continue to watch movies for the rest of the day.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

The end credits of frozen come up on the TV and I look over to see Emily sleeping. Turning off the TV, I walk over to my alarm and set it for 6:30 am. School is tomorrow and I am both nervous and excited. I slip back onto my bed and under the covers.

"I love you Emily Field's." I announce quietly, not expecting a response but still getting one.

"I love you too Alison Dilaurentis." And then she wrapped her arm around my waist pulling her towards me. Smiling, I close my eyes and fall asleep.


	10. 10

**10 the chapter here everybody. I really wanted to write school in Alison's POV. So I kinda made this chapter shorter then I would have liked. This isn't my best work so I am sorry in advance if u don't like it. For any confusion the first couple chapters took place Saturday then Sunday and this chapter is Monday. I'm going to update as soon as I can but I am busy this weekend. Please please review. I love feedback and reviews provide that! Love you all!**

Emily POV.

I wake up and roll over to the most beautiful blond sleeping beside me. Her hair is a mess, shes wearing sweatpants and a tank, and shes drooling a tiny bit but she is still the most beautiful person in the whole world. My moment of staring at her is interrupted when the alarm goes off what resulted in her falling off the the bed in surprise.

"Are you kidding me!" Ali says before grabbing a pillow off the bed, setting it on the floor and going back to sleep. I get up and go to the bathroom, leaving her to doze back off for another couple minutes. I walking into the bathroom and begin my daily morning routine. Shower, Teeth, Hair, some make-up, little bit of perfume and I'm ready to go. I check the clock that is hanging beside me, it reads 7:17 am. Time to get Ali up. This should be loads fun, I say sarcastically out loud. Alison wakes up early on weekends and refuses to wake up at all on weekdays. Unlike me were it is visa verse. I sleep like a rock through the weekends. I walk into the bedroom, expecting to see Alison still sleeping but am surprised when I see her up and about staring at her closet.

"Staring at your cloths aren't going to make them come out of the closet." I exclaim.

"Jesus Emily! You scared the crap out of me." She reply's jumping to look at me. "I know it won't but today is an important day and I wanna look perfect ok." Alison continues. I stride up to her, wrap my arms around her neck and kiss her. It starts off light and fluffy but soons becomes more intense. I pull away before anything can happen but keep my hands around her neck.

"You're going to look beautiful in anything you wear babe." I state truthfully. Ali could show up to school in a onesie and still look like a model.

"You think so?" She questions breaking my train of thought.

"I know so." I reply. Giving her one more kiss. Alison turns back around facing her closet before finally deciding on a floral romper and off grey blazer. I didn't think it would look nice but since Ali was wearing it she looked stunning.

"Can we hop over to my house? I gotta change from the sweatpants and tank I have been wearing for the past day and a half."

"Sure thing. Meet u downstairs in 10, I just gotta do my make-up." Alison exclaimef. Leaving ali to finish getting ready for school, I walk downstairs and stare at the clock. Exactly 10 minutes later, Ali is walking down the stairs.

"Wow, you got good at time." I say. Alison used to be always late for everything, party's all the way to sleepovers. When she said 10 minutes I thought she was gonna take 20.

"I did tell you guys I changed." She replys quietly.

"That you did Ali." I answer back walking behind her and wrapping my arms around her waist. I give her a quick kiss on the cheek before letting her slip out of my arms so I can put on my shoes. I grab my keys off the key hook and walk out to the car. Ali hops in the car at the same time as me and leans back her chair slightly, attempting to relax.

"Babe, it's going to be ok. Anybody who has a problem with us can shove it because their opinion of us, or you doesn't effect me." I tell her as I start the car.

"I know that Em but I'm just scared that's all. But if I have u by my side, I'm going to be all ok." She replys with sincerity. I began to drive smiling because I fully believe her and I are going to be ok for the first time in a long time. 7 minutes later we pull up to my house.

"I will be right back." I tell Alison and she nods her head. I walk into my house, closing the door and walk upstairs to my room. I enter and start getting changed. I decided to wear a black bomber jacket, grey beanie and tealish blue pants. Looking at myself in the mirror, I smile because I got the girl finally and she is waiting for me in my car. I run out the house at that thought open her door and give her a kiss. Pulling away, I whisper "I love you so much."

She whispers back "I love you more Em."

"Not possible." I reply before going back to the drivers seat and starting the car. Time for school I think to myself. The ride was a silent one but not a awkward silence, a comfortable silence. We pull up to the school parking and just sit in the car for a few minutes. I look towards Ali and see that she is staring strait forward, breathing heavily.

"Ali, you ok?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Stop asking that Emily I'm not a glass ok. I have handled a lot worse then this." She snaps at me. Surprised, I reply calmly with "I know you have I was just wondering. Sorry."

"Well don't ok." She says again still pissed off at me for some reason. I have no idea what got into her and I don't want to stick around when shes going to snap at me, so I hop out of the car and wait for her. I lean on the hood for 3 minutes before she walks out and walks in front of me, head down slightly.

"I'm sorry for snapping. I shouldn't have been such a bitch to you back there I'm just stressed out and nervous." Seeing her apologize like that made my heart clench because she was so cute when she apologized for something. It was like you could see the real her without all the fake top bitch act.

"I understand Ali, I just was wondering if you were ok. I remember what it was like walking down the hall hand in hand with Maya and how terrifying it was so I just wanted to make sure you still were comfortable with this." At the mention of my deceased ex-girlfriend, Ali sighed before turning and hugging me tightly.

"Thank you for caring so much about me." She says before clasping our hands together and continuing. "Let's go be amazing together." And with that we began to walk into school. As soon as we entered the building, gasps and whispers were heard. I clentched my hand with Alison's showing as much support as I could while we walked to her locker. Out of no were, somebody stuck their foot out and tripped Alison. Ali fell to the ground and in the background you could hear somebody else say, "my oh my how the mighty have fallen." I reach my hand out for Ali to grab to help her back up and when shes back in my arms Ali wraps one arm around me. It is almost like a hug and she puts her head to my chest slightly. We continue to walk finally making it to her locker were she grabs her stuff and then head to my locker. People part like the red sea, continuing to whisper loudly but I don't care. I grab my stuff shortly after and we head our separate classes. Before leaving her to her own divices I give her a quick kiss. I watch her walk away, head down slightly. The day had just started and it didn't look great for my baby but if anybody pulled that tripping stunt again they would be losing a leg. With that thought in mind, I walk to physics.


	11. 11

**short update I know but I haven't been feeling very inspired recently. I have been pretty busy also so I'm sorry this isn't my best work but if you like it review. If you hate it review. If you have an idea for the fanfic review. :)**

Alison's POV.

Within 2 minutes of entering the door, I already got tripped. I hear "my oh my, how the mighty have fallen," in the background. Great schools top bitch is now the laughing stock. I come back from the dead and everybody loves/hates me but now that I'm dating Emily it is even a bigger deal then that. Emily is more important to me than my reputation, so I cling to her. We walk to my locker and then hers. The whispers and stares people gave us while we walked could almost drive you mad. The old me would have loved it, but now it feels like the walls are closing in on me. Finally we reach the end of the hallway and are forced to go our separate ways. She gives me a quick kiss for reassurance purposes and we part ways. She has physics and I have French. I keep my head down as I walk to my next class what is just down the hallway. Normally it feels like 3 seconds has passed when I get there but today it feels like it takes months to enter my classroom. I sit down in my desk near the far corner of the room. The teacher still isn't in unfortunately so that gives everybody even more time to point and laugh and whisper. Finally shows up and class begins. French passes by as fast as a escargot and by the time class is almost over, I'm half asleep. *RINNGGGG* sounds the bell, time for biology but before I get up somebody throws a crumpled up ball of paper. I look behind me to see apparently the school's new top bitchs smiling and waving back. I look around to see already gone so I flip them off and walk out of class. The rest of the day until lunch became uneventful thankfully and I meet Emily by her locker.

"Hey babe." She says to me as I walk up to her.

"Hey yourself." I reply gaining confidence before I give her a kiss in front of everybody. Smiling I pull away and grab her hand, starting to pull her out of the school.

"Where are we going?" She questions while being practically dragged.

"We are going to go for a walk. I have no clue where but we aren't staying here for lunch." I tell her. I stop pulling on Emily's arm and walk beside her. It becomes quiet for a couple minutes. Only really small talk.

"So how has your day been so far?" Em asks interested. Honestly not the best day so far but thats ok.

"Its been alright. How about you? Nobody has said anything about us to you right?" I reply hoping that my second question will be answered with a capital n and o.

"It has been ok. I'm all good, truthfully I am more worried about you. If anybody freaking touches you again." Emily starts, getting upset quickly.

"Em baby I don't care about what they say or what they do. As long as you are all ok then I am all ok." I tell her before she explodes. Emily squeezes my hand like she did earlier and continues.

"I know Ali but I still don't care they don't get to say anything negative about you. I love you ok. And yea I have had a couple people question us but again I don't care about what they think or have to say. I'm tired of listening to what everybody else thinks is best for me." By the time Em finishes talking we have walked around the school. I smile and look at her because she really has grown exponentially over the past couple years.

"What is it?" She asks.

"I am just really happy." I reply and we go back into the school for the remainder of lunch. We sit there under her locker talking about everything and nothing. Noel walks by smirking at me and Emily. Looking over to Em I see that she is staring right at him and if glares could kill, he would be a dead man.

"Babe," I say shaking her arm. "Babe he isn't worth a second of your time let."

"I know Ali but," she raises her voice to the people staring at us. "DOES ANYBODY HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO THEN STARE AT US?!" I began to laugh because everybody turns their heads the opposite direction. The bell rings and we separate again for class. My next class I have with the population of rosewood high I hate, Noel specifically. Walking into class, I keep my head high but see that the only desk still available is right in front if Noel at the back. Quickly I walk to my seat and get prepared for class. Half way through class I hear somebody whisper to me. Turning around I see that Noel is looking around and then looks back at me as if the coast is clear.

"Ali, was wondering if you wanted to go to a party with me this weekend?" He whispers.

"And why the hell would I do that?" I whisper back. As if I wanted to be within 10 feet of him anymore.

"Well I needed somebody to bring and was wondering if you would wanna go with me. So what do you say babe? Wanna go like the old days?" I turn around and pretend I'm paying attention in class for a couple second before I turn back around to answer him.

"I wouldn't go with you even if you were the last human being on earth. I am with Emily now so I'm not your babe and I am not gonna ruin that."

"Well I was thinking you could ditch the girl and be with me instead. How did she turn you anyway? You were as straight as they come." He says smirking at me. He acts as if he knows me but really he has never known a single thing about me.

"Here's the thing Noel. Emily did not turn me or whatever you think in your pea sized brain. I have been in love with her since 8th grade and I played you before like the fool you are. So how about you back the fuck off instead and by the way don't freaking act like you know me. You know jack shit about me, Emily, my friends and my life." And with that I turn around to see the teacher playing on her phone not even realizing whats going on in her classroom. Typical I think to myself as the bell finally rings and I leave the class. Running through the halls I go find em before she goes to her next class.

"Let's get out of here!" I tell her.

"Right now?" She questioned.

"They do say there is no time like the present." She smiles and we walk out of school how we walked in, hand in hand


	12. 12

**hey I'm back! Sorry for the little bit of a wait for this chapter. I just got braces and my teeth are killing and I just got sick so thats why no update innnn 3-4 days. But I'm back! Hopefully you guys like this chapter! Tell me your opinion of it aka reviewww! I don't own PLL or anything PLL related. Warning: this fanfic contains self harm so you have been warned.**

Emily POV.

Ali surprised me by taking us to her spot in between classes. I didn't even know it existed before today but its beautiful. Not nearly as beautiful as Alison but still very beautiful. It was a patch of grass in a field of sunflowers. The next few days we spent together were amazing. At school Alison kept her head up and ignored everybody who tried to bring her down. I was really proud of her. Thursday is when her dad gets back and we are going to tell him the news of us dating. Ali is super nervous because unfortunately her dad has made some comments before about her cousin who is gay. Today is the last day I sleep over before we tell her dad so we plan to stay up late and just enjoy tonight. The lunch bell rings and I smile because it's time to see my girl. Walking out of the classroom, I get tackled by a mass of blong hair. Recovering quickly, I hug her back even tho I didn't have much of a choice due to her koala hug.

"Hey babe." I say hugging her tightly. People stare at us because of the scene we just created.

"Hey to you too!" She replys detaching herself from my body. I am quickly tugged forward into a long kiss before saying "I love you."

"I love you too." I reply and we walk hand in hand to the caff to grab our lunchs. I sit down outside at the tables and Ali excuses herself to the bathroom, leaving me alone. Before I know it, 3 other bodies sit beside me as soon as Ali leaves. From the smell of Ralph Lauren perfume, hair spray and a flash of artsy cloths I can tell its my 3 other life long friends.

"Hello," I say polity because even though I haven't talked to them in a little under a week their still my best friends.

"Hey," Aria and Spencer reply before Hanna bursts out.

"What the hell are you doing with her?" She questions accusingly.

"HANNA!" Spencer snaps.

"What I want to know and don't pretend you don't want to either Spencer."

"I am dating her," I say quickly. It isn't that I'm ashamed to be Alison's girlfriend, I just didnt want to have my 3 best friends hate the idea of us. Aria chokes while drinking her water and then says, "you're what!?"

"I am dating Alison."

"Have you lost it!" Hanna begins, "do you not remember all the shit she put us through. All the times she kissed you just to turn around and laugh in your face! Alison has no mercy or feelings Emily."

"Are you dating her Hanna? No so butt out of it. I make my own choices not you. You are sounding like Paige." I state fuming.

"Wait, when was Paige over?" Aria questions.

"Last Saturday, she commented about how Alison was playing me and then punched her in her face. She has had a black eye since Sunday but you know her, Ali is really good at make-up." I reply.

"That and playing people." I hear Hanna whisper.

"Wanna speak up Hanna or are you just gonna mumble the whole time." I say. I admit not my best comeback.

"I said that and playing people just like shes doing now Em. God wake up! She doesn't love you! She is A for god sakes."

"Take it back Hanna. take all of that back now!" I state firmly. Looking around I see that we have gained some attention from other people at tables near ours.

"No I won't because it is the truth. She isn't innocent, she is the devil pretty much." And with that I stand up, completely forgetting about my lunch and walk away. How dare they question Alison... She loves me I think to myself and as I round the corner I see familiar blond hair running into the bathroom.

"Shit," I whisper to myself. She heard what the girls said. I rapidly run into the bathroom to find nobody else in the bathroom except Alison, who locked herself in a stall. I knock on the door and the only response I get is sniffles.

"Alison baby it's me... Wanna open up the door and come out?" I ask.

"N-no jus-just go Emi-ily." She stutters out.

"Baby I am not going anywhere so when u come out I'm gonna be here for you." I reply defiantly while leaning against the sink. 15 minutes pass by without a sound I began to hear the bathroom stall click to unlock. Slowly Alison sticks her head out all puffy and red eyed. She stand there And slowly closes the door behind her with her eyes closed trying to stop more unshead tears from flowing. I walk up to her and wrap my arms around her tightly. Due to me being taller, I easily shield her from the world in our hug and my chest becomes wet with her tears.

"It's gonna be ok Ali. Let it all out." I say soothingly while rubbing circles on her back.

"The-ey hat-te m-me." She stutters out before silently sobbing back on my chest. Unnoticed by Alison or I, we hear a small intake of breath and unravel from our hug. Seeing who it was, Ali runs out of the bathroom to god knows where.

I tell them "are you freaking happy now!" To 3 shocked friends none other then Aria Spencer and Hanna. I storm out and begin my search for Alison. Quickly entering my car, I ponder all the places she likes to go. I start the car and speed off to the kissing rock. She isn't there so I head off to her spot and then back to library at school. Alison isn't at either and so I race over to her house hoping she is there. I walk into her house and up the stairs. Seeing the light from her room illuminating the outside hallway slightly I open the door.

What I walk into shocks me because I thought we were past this. Ali is trying to break a pencil sharpener.


	13. 13

**hey I'm back! Just wanted to say that this chapter is kinda shorter then normal. Please please review! 5th review gets a shout out because why not :) love you all hope you guys like this chapter. Warning: mentions some brief self harm and I don't own PLL or anything PLL related I just write pll -alexxus**

Alison POV.

The girls hate me. I don't deserve Emily. Hell, I don't deserve anybody. I think to myself as I run out of the bathroom crying. This school, these people, this town it was suffocating me. I bump into multiple people while I run out of the school and down the street. Slowing down I try to stop the tears from falling but fail epically. Where am I even going? I question myself. My direction is headed towards my house so I continue to go towards my house because this feeling I have, is one I'm familiar with. It's the feeling of drowning and not being able to breath through all of the self-hate. As if somebody is dunking my head over and over again and just when I think its done, I am pushed back under water. This viscous cycle is exhausting. I continue maintaining my pace and after 10 minutes I'm home. I take off my jacket I was wearing and shoes while slowly walking upstairs. I reach my room and immediately go into my desk because that blade that kept me afloat for so long is there inside the sharpener. I rapidly attempt to break it but it just wouldn't budge. Growling I attempt again and feel the mechanism slowly start to break. I begin to hit it and that is when Em semi-walked, semi-stormed into find me in the process of breaking her promise. She gasps before quickly walking up to me and tilting me head up to look at her.

"Ali, I know what you're thinking but you can't ok. You are so much stronger then that..." She whispers to me while carefully prying the sharpener out of my hands. She puts it into her pocket before resuming the position we had whilst in the bathroom. I realize the tears still haven't stopped since the bathroom and for once, I don't care about it. Crying isn't a weakness, I now see that it actually shows strength. Emily's hug envelopes me and I cry without regret for the first time in my life.

"It is all gonna be ok Ali. I'm right here babe. You're going to be ok, I promise." Em says as she pulls away slightly to look at my face. My sobs have stopped by this point and it has just become a soft, silent cry. Like the one's you see in movies where the guy loses the girl. Em leans in and whispers in my ear, "I love you Alison DiLaurentis." And she wipes away my last few tears with her thumb. I pull away fully and go sit on my bed, looking at Emily. This crash of regret rushes through my body and I lower my gaze away from her brown eye's. I almost broke my promise to her about staying clean and for what! Because some people who hate me stated their opinion to my girlfriend. Stupid, stupid I think to myself. She probably ha- my thoughts are derailed when I feel a dip in the bed and a hand on my shoulder. Keeping my gaze locked to the ground, I say, "You don't deserve all this baggage that comes with me. I'm not worth it. I am the devil pretty much like Hanna said."

"Alison we have been over this, I am with you through everything. Every bump in the road, I'm gonna be here for you. You are worth it and I love you. Screw Hanna's opinion because to me your are like a angel." Emily says staring at me till I finally look at her.

"You really think so?" I question because nobody has ever said anything like that to me. Not my parents, not my brother, not my friends, nobody.

"I don't think so," she says pausing and I begin to worry, "I know so." She finishes. I quickly turn to her and kiss her. It starts slow but picks up pace quickly. We pull apart simultaneously and smile.

"Wow." Emily states quietly, touching her lips.

"That good eh!" I smirk back at her and Em blushes.

"So what's the plan for tonight?" She asks, breaking the long comfortable silence we were surrounded by.

"What do you want to do and then let's do that!" I exclaim.

"How about since today has been a long day already and it's only 2:06, we watch a couple movies and hang out."

"Sounds like a plan to me." I tell her before getting up and going to my closet.

"What are you doing?" She asks.

"I'm grabbing my Hollister sweat-pants and a baggy T-shirt." I reply and begin to change facing away from Emily. I may have become more comfortable around her but I still don't like the way I look. As if she can read my mind, Em gets up and walks towards me. She wraps her arms around my waist and I squirm. She kisses my neck softly and then rests her head on my shoulder.

"You are beautiful Ali. Don't hide from me ok?" She whispers, halting myself from getting dressed. Em pulls away and I turn around continuing to put on my sweat-pants but this time facing her slightly. Once I'm finished getting dressed I lay back and flip to Netflix on the TV. Em gets changed and sits on the bed beside me. She looks back at me and smiles before lays down on the bed with her head ontop of my torso. We decide to watch finding nemo because Ellen plays dory and because finding nemo is by far our favorite animated movie. Half way through Em pauses the movie.

"Do you want some popcorn?" She asks what is weird because I asked her at the beginning if she wanted any.

"Umm sure. You Want some help?" I ask suspiciously.

"Nah I'm fine." She replys and walks downstairs. I notice she slips her phone into her back pocket when she leaves. Sighing I stare at the walls waiting for her to come back upstairs. After about 3 minutes I hear to microwave beep, saying the popcorn is done and shortly after Emily comes back upstairs.

"Here you go." She states and lays back down resuming the movie. Without thinking anymore into it we decide to watch movies for the rest of the day.


	14. 14

**Hey im back! Had to re-upload this chapter because fanfic nuts! Shout to Drea82581 for being the 5th reviewer! This is one of my longest chapters by a bit. Hopefully you all like the chapter! I don't own PLL or anything PLL related. Please please review!**

Emily POV.

My phone vibrates throughout the movie so I cover for checking the messages by saying I'm making popcorn. I don't know why I did it but if it was something upsetting Ali would want to know and I wasn't prepared to watch her break down again. Seeing her cry is like watching a puppy be kicked. So I slip my phone into my back pocket and head downstairs to make some popcorn for Ali.

Checking my text messages I see 2 from my mom checking in on me, 1 from Aria apologizing for lunch. Typical, aria cared the most out of the group and was the most accepting one. Hanna was more blunt and Spencer was just brutel when she disagreed with you. I shove the popcorn in the microwave and continue to go through my text messages. 3 from Spencer and Hanna I just deleted before even reading them. Finally 4 from Paige. I don't know why but I chose to open them.

-Em, why did you leave school?-

-Em, the girls are worried about you and so am I. Text me back-

-Emily text me back. I love you-

-Emily, I seriously think you need to reconsider your relationship with Alison. She is toxic and the girls are just looking out for you. We need to talk tonight.-

I read her text messages over and over again, each time seeing a new shade of red. I decide to not reply and to just go see her tomorrow at school sometime. Walking back upstairs once the popcorn is done, we finish finding nemo and a bunch of other movies until about 10 when I mention how tired I am.

"Yea so am I." Alison agrees and after another 20 minutes were sleeping side by each. I wrap my arms around Ali's waist and pull her in close. As close as I can bring her, spooning her. "I love you Ali." I tell her.

"I love you too Em." She replies back. I doze off shortly after and wake up again to another alarm. Getting up I shut it off and think to myself, Thursday. Today is the day were we tell Alison's dad about us. The day were I tell Paige to back the hell off because Alison is my forever and always. The day where I tell the girls that I appreciate their concern, but I am not 15 anymore and that I trust Alison. If Aria, Spencer, Hanna don't accept that then they will have to learn to deal with it because Ali is who I want to be with no matter what. I go start my morning school routine and get Alison up earlier then 90% of the time. We get into my car early and drive to a parking lot a bit of a walk from school. Grabbing her hand she looks at me and smile but her hand is shaking.

"Hey, don't be nervous. Whatever happens today I love you and I am in your corner. Don't forget that ok." She smiles and then smirks.

"Just when I think I can't love you even more then I do now, you surprise me." She hops out of the car, runs over to my door before I comprehend what is happening and opens my door for me.

"And they say chivalry is dead." I state before I plant myself on the ground beside her. She closes the car door behind me and grabs my hand.

"Well only the best for you and the best involves being a gentlewoman."

"A gentlewoman?" I question.

"Yes I'm not a man as you probably have guessed so I'm gonna be a gentlewoman for you." We take our time walking to school because of how early we are and once we enter, Ali and I part way's. She had to get some help on a certain subject so I watched her run down the hall towards the classes teacher. I open my locker and just as I finish putting my books in it, my locker door is slammed shut in my face. I turn around, about to yell at whoever thought slamming locker doors was ok, when I come face to face with Paige. Rolling my eye's I back up slightly, crossing my arm's and prepare myself for whatever long ass speach she has to say.

"What the fuck are you doing with her? I get from the conversation on Saturday we had, you obviously still like her but seriously. I am mainly here for 2 reason's. Reason 1 is because the girls are worried about you and for good reason. Have you just suddenly forgotten who she is? What her nature is? Well let me remind you, it is to destroy people until they are nothing. Next reason is because I still love you. She doesn't deserve you at all. She doesn't deserve a second of your time never mind being your girlfriend. At least I didn't hurt you like she ha-" I hold up my hand and shut Paige up.

"Haven't hurt me! Are you freaking crazy Paige, are you insane! You tried to drown me, you controlled my life for almost 2 years, you even blackmailed me when you found out Ali was alive and needed money. And even after that you broke promise after promise after promise. And not to mention you punched my girlfriend, what by the way, she still has a black-eye. You have hurt me plenty so don't blame Alison for losing me. You lost me a long time ago. Also, if the girls were so concerned about me, they wouldn't send my ex-girlfriend to sort out their problems with Alison. I was civil Saturday night but today I'm not. You need to butt out of my life. That means no calls, no text messages, no talking to me or Alison. Now let me past." I state as Paige attempts to block my path to my next class.

"No." She replies clearly.

"Paige seriously move." I growl back and what she does next surprises everybody in the hall especially me. She kisses me and I freeze because it feels foreign to feel her lips against mine. They are cold and hard and needing unlike Ali's. I push her back after a couple seconds and push her out of my way to the next class. I faintly hear Paige scream back at me something about how we weren't over but I just flip her off. The periods of the day fly by and when lunch comes around, I walk up behind Ali. Wrapping my arms around her torso as she grabs stuff for the next few classes from her locker. She shrugs me off and I connect the dots. She knows about Paige kissing me. Leaning against a locker next to her's I faintly hear Ali ask, "did you like it when she kissed you?"

"Not even a tiny bit. It frankly was gross and rough and surprising. Who told you that I kissed her?"

"A told me," she said passing me her phone. The text had a photo of Paige kissing me in the hallway earlier and read { look like she has found somebody else to kiss. I bet she liked it too. Kisses-A. } I hand back Ali her phone and grab her hand.

"Babe, she pretty much attacked me at my locker. I do not like her like that or even as a friend. I only love you and you have to believe me."

"I do believe you Em, I was just wondering." She looks up to me and we walk out to a picnic bench for lunch. The rest of the day zooms by without any other disturbance's. When the time comes that diner with Alison's dad comes around though, Ali is a ball of nerves. I went home before supper to change into more appropriate attire because even if I have eaten over there before with her dad, it has only been when Ali was just my friend. I chose a simple blue dress and some flashy earrings. Slipping on my flats, I text Alison for the 27th time that whatever happened it would all work out in the end. I jump into my car and drive over to her house. She opens the door before I even knock and wow, does she look stunning. She wears a pair of silver twist flats and a white sundress that complements her natural eye-shadow.

"You look-" she starts and I finish her sentence.

"Stunning." We both stare at eachother for a couple seconds before we hear her dad yell at us from the kitchen to come inside. I walk in and see that she has made a fancy pasta dish.

"Hello ." I say respectfully.

"Hello Emily." He states back with a slight edge. I have no idea why but he looks upset so I decide to sit down and stay quiet. This is going to be a long night.


	15. 15

**hey! To those of you reading this, thank you, to those of you skipping me talking and heading to the fix, thank you also! Please review guys ideas tho I have them like to have a bit of background or different ideas in general! I don't own PLL or anything PLL related. :)**

Alison POV.

As soon as I got home after parting ways with Em, I could feel the nerves begin to ball up in my stomach. It was bad before at school but I had Emily there at lunch to calm me down and after school for a bit too. I decided to make linguini with a blush sauce for supper. I text Emily as I cook because even through text she can calm me down slightly. She has been reassuring me all day that whatever happens we will be ok. Half-way through preparing the pasta for supper, the front door slams shut. Great, I think, my father is home and he is in a bad mood already. My dad walks into the kitchen and keeps a stern expression on his face until I move to see him.

"How was the business trip?" I ask hugging him slightly. I feel him wrap his arms around my back but it feels awkward and foreign. We never really hugged a lot before I left and after all the hugs Em has given me, I didn't like this feeling of hug. We break apart the hug and I go back to making pasta.

"Emily is coming over tonight dad." I tell him before he leaves the kitchen.

"What? Why?" He questions.

"Because I invited her over and shes my best friend." I say refraining from telling him the truth until it is supper time. He huffs and mutters a whatever before leaving my back alone. By the time the pasta and sauce was cooked it was 5:47, providing enough time to get dressed nicely and set the table. I turn off the stove and I quickly set the table as nicely as I could. Once finished I run up to my room. I chose a white sundress and some silver twisted flats. Usually when we have a guest come over we semi-dress up. I walk to the mirror in the bathroom and look at my complexion. I have changed so much over the past 6 days. No longer do I have bags under my eyes or have a sunken in face. Not only do I look a bit better but I am slowly getting happier. Yesterday was a bad day but with Emily by my side it isn't so bad. I walk out of my bedroom and see my phone has another text message from Emily reassuring me. I walk downstairs and just as I am on the last step, I hear her car pull up. I open the door to find a jaw dropping Emily about to knock. She is wearing this blue dress that stops at her mid-thigh and it shows her curves perfectly. God she looks breath taking, I think.

"You look-" she cuts me off and says.

"Stunning." Our eyes stare into one an other for a brief couple of seconds before we hear a yell from inside that belongs to my father. Mentally cringing, I invite her inside. I walk behind her and Emily say's hello politely but my dad being the self-centered person he is answered her back with a tone he only used when he was annoyed. I sigh and Emily sits down beside me, while my dad sits on the other side of the table. I place the pasta in the middle and we make some small talk through out eating out meal. The tension and awkwardness of thus whole dinner begins to break my interest in eating so I subtly interlock my hand with Emily's. She squeezes my hand giving me a boast of confidence. I push away my plate with my other hand and speak up before I lost all hope I had for a good turn out.

"Dad." I say

"Yes?" He asks uninterested while still eating.

"I gotta tell you something and it is really important so can you just listen to me for a second." He wipes the corners of his mouth and puts his fork on the plate. Looking at me, my dad nods his head slightly and does a hand gesture of continue.

"Since I have been back, I've realized something." I take a breath and Em looks at me smiling slightly.

"Dad I've realized I love Emily as more then just a friend. Her and I are together like a couple and I thought you should know." My dad has no expression when he hears the news. He just sits there staring at me as if he could see my soul and then he stood up and left. Confused, I look at Emily, who is also wearing the look of confusion on her face. We sit in silence staring at eachother and around trying to comprehend what was happening. My dad comes back a minute later with a suit case in his hand and the same stern facial expression as always. He goes to the living room and comes back empty handed and then turns to Emily.

"You need to leave. Now." He states firmly. Understanding what was about to happen, Em looks at me and I nod but before she gets up to leave I motion to go upstaires. She gets up and I assume goes to my room to wait for the end result of my father's decision. Once Emily is gone I stand up and walk over to him. Staring back at him, I wanted to see him imbrace me or at least show an expression.

"You are to chose between living here and being normal or you can leave."

"What!" I exclaim. I knew prior to dinner that this result was a possibility but I never actually thought it would happen.

"You either be with Emily and not live here or you get 1 hour to pack up your stuff and get out." He states staring back at me.

"You have got to be kidding me! After losing me for year's, you are prepared to throw me away just because I love a girl? Just because I'm different and choosing to act on my feelings for another person?" He sneers and goes to the living room bringing back the suitcase.

"You have a choice Alison, I would chose very clearly and think very hard on my next few words." He states becoming agitated. His comment set's me on edge and I step closer to him.

"You are not my family. The girl upstairs is my family and I love her and nothing you say changes that." I say pointing.

"Alison, watch your mouth. She is not your family and you do not love her." I step closer to him getting in his face slightly and state.

"She is the closest thing to a family I have ever had." I hear the slap before I feel it. Emily rushes downstairs by the sound of it and grabs me. I look up and he has already left my presence and started the timer on the microwave. Bastard, I think to myself as em and I grab the suitcase and hall it upstairs. I drop the suit case on my bed. I start to shove everything I can from my closet into the bag as soon as I possibly could. Emily has been silent the whole time since he hit me. I think I haven't said anything because I too was still processing what had just happened. I continue to grab cloths from my drawers in my room until one of my pants gets stuck somewhere. Pulling hard, it refuses to budge even a little bit. I begin to tug on the pants thrashing and finally they come lose but it is like something explodes inside of me. I grab my drawer and throw it onto the ground. The cloths on the ground now become my throw objects as I pick them up and throw them around my room and wail them against my floor. Emily comes over to me and hugs me so that I can't move my arms. I thrash and shake, attempting to break from her hold but it almost like she has gained super strength. After several minutes I stop shaking and she let's go of me, continuing to put more cloths into the suit case. I just stand there in my room staring at the wall. If somebody has told a 14 year old Alison that this would be her life soon she would laugh in their face. By the time I snap out of it most of my cloths that I care for are in my suitcase. Having now clue as to how much more time I had to pack up my life I grabbed a bag and started to fill it with things that were important to me. Some photo's, souvenirs, a teddy bear, basically everything and anything that meant something to me. I also grab another bag for all my products from the bathroom. Finally, I click a button on my desk and out pops some stashed away cash and my fake id's. Though I am vowing to never run away again, money and id's have multiple uses. I hear my dad yell at me from downstairs, "you have 7 minutes to be out of this house Alison." Great, seven more minutes to soak in my room and to just be quiet while thinking. I sit down on my bed and look at Emily who is zipping up my suitcase. We haven't spoken a word to eachother for the past 53 minutes and it feels awkward. Not the cute awkward but the shaky, unreliable, scared, angry awkward.

"Em." I say quietly. She turns and looks at me. I pat the bed beside my body and she moves to sit beside me but on the farthest part of the bed. Emily looked as if she was about to fall off the bed what would have been funny if she wasn't being as expressionless as she was. We sit there in silence staring straight ahead for a minute until I hear her.

"I'm so sorry Ali." She says turning her head to look at me.

"It's fine Em, I don't blame you." With that answer, I get up and walk to my suitcase. Grabbing it and began to make my way to my bedroom door. Looking back, Emily hasn't moved so I say "are you coming?" She gets up and snatch's my two other bags, joining me on going downstairs to load her car. Once all my stuff is in her vehicle, the microwave clock shows 57 seconds. Em is already in the car once I clear the clock. Walking up and opening her door, I look back at my once house now just a place I used to live and join her inside


	16. 16

**I'm back! Hey guys just me with another update before school. Hopefully you all love this chapter! Please review! Pleaseeee! I don't own anything PLL Btw :) **

Emily POV.

I ruined Alison's life with her family. Throughout the whole ordeal I was silent. When her dad gave her a single hour to clear her room, I didn't speak a word. When she was throwing stuff around her room and thrashing, I just held her close but stayed quiet as a mouse. Being quiet, especially when Ali needed me, was difficult but unfortunately second nature. Whenever there was conflict, staying quiet and contained helped in figuring out what to do next for me. I only spoke when I couldn't take the amount of guilt that had accumulated in the pit of my stomach. The conversation during the car ride over to my house had been non-existent. No amount of apologies could fix what had just happened. I ripped Alison's father away from her because I love her and she loves me back. Though the feeling is mutual, this guilt has already started to eat me alive inside.

The ride, though only 10 minutes long, feels like it has been hours once we pull up to my empty house. Quickly getting out of the car, I grab Alison's bags before she has even undone her seatbelt. I walk up to the the front door without looking back at Ali and enter my house. Leaving the bags at the side of the door I run the the bathroom because though Ali needs me, I got to get it together by myself. I turn on the faucet and splash some cold water in my face.

"Get it together, get it together," chanting to myself as I dry off. Walking out of the bathroom the site that I come to see brakes my resolve and rush forward. Ali is curled up beside her suitcase, looking lost and crying silently. By curled up I mean, legs against chest looking around and the type of cry that makes you mad at the world for hurting Ali. She shouldn't have to have gone through all that she has the past 2 years. Add how hard the past week has been and it is bound to make people break down often. I rush forward and sit cross legged beside her. She looks at me with a foreign expression and then clings to my neck. I pull her right onto my lap and bring her as close to myself as possible just letting her cry.

"Wha-what am I-I gon-na do now." She asks between sobs.

"You're gonna stay with me Ali. With my family once we tell them in a couple week's." I say softly. Seeing her this upset and sad makes every problem besides her sadness go away. Beginning to pull away Ali clutches onto my neck even more so I decide to koala her. Getting up was the hard part but once up, I moved Ali's legs to wrap around my waist and held her like that as we walked up the stair's.

"Don't let me go." Alison say's quietly against my shoulder.

"Never." I reply as I enter my room with her still clinging to me. Setting her on my bed, I grab a blanket for us and hear her whimper at the lose of contact so I scurry back to Ali. Covering us both, she wraps both hands against my shirt, pulling me close and slowly falling asleep. I stare at her beautiful face and feel myself began to fade after 40 minutes of being awake but am woken up by my cellphone ringing in my back pocket. Whatever, I say mentally, it can wait and the ringing stop's. Ali stirres from her sleep and rubs her eye's.

"Who was that?" She say's sleeply.

"I don't know and frankly I don't really care." I answer smiling as I continue. "Instead, I'm gonna stay on this bed and stare at this beautiful blonde in front of me."

Ali blushes but then looks at me suddenly becoming sad and the guilt returns. I look down at my hands and then state that I'm going to get her bags and bring them upstairs. Running downstairs and snatching her bag, I take my time to think walking back up to my room. When entering my room, Ali looks up and smiles a small smile. I walk towards the bed and ask.

"Are you ok?" Because of the events that have taken place over the past 3 hours have confused me.

"Honestly, no I didn't expect him to throw me out but eventually everything is going to be ok." My heart swells because the way she comprehends life, the way she stay's strong through everything life throw's at her, amazes me.

"You are absolutely amazing Alison. You are so strong babe." I announce as I sit beside her pulling her close to my side.

"Really?" Ali replies quietly, with her insecurities laced throughout her voice.

Chuckling slightly, I respond.

"Babe you are the strongest person I know." Ali smile's and hugs me sideways. It is a weird comforting feeling and we pull apart when my phone rings again. She nudges me, nodding towards the electronic buzzing. I roll my eye's playfully and pick it up, not checking the caller I.D.

"Hello, Emily speaking."

"Hey Em, was wondering if you were busy tomorrow?" Say's the surprising voice of Aria.

"Why, haven't you guy's said enough to me? Done enough to hurt Alison!" A lour crash erupts from the phone and Spencer's faint talk to some one is heard.

"Please Em, bring Ali too." Aria pleads. I look to Ali, before I even ask her, she nods her head.

"Fine, when and where?" I ask sighing.

"The brew 11:45, if that work's with you."

"Sure, fine. So lunch time got it."

"Thanks Em." She say's and then hangs up the phone. Turning over to look back at Alison, she smiles.

"We are meeting them at 11:45 tomorrow at the brew." I state.

"Ok, well I'm going to go to bed now cause frankly it has been a long day." Ali replies, turning to face my wall silently.

"Wait I forgot something." She states jumping back up and looking at me. Wide eyed, I ask "what!"

"This" and she gives me a long soft kiss. I smile because it feels so normal and like fireworks. She pulls away before smirking.

"Now it is bed time." And she turns away falling asleep quickly. I sit there smiling because after everything that has happened over the past week, she has become so much more like the Ali I have always seen. I don't need to look past negatives to see a positive anymore because she has no negatives. Sure there will be a moment when she snaps or hurts somebody but we all do that from time to time. She doesn't need her blades anymore either and though again Ali had a almost slip yesterday but I'm going to be there for moments when she feels that sad and hopeless. I am worried about tomorrow but decide to sleep it off so I cuddle Ali and fall asleep.


	17. 17

**It feels like forever since I updated but I'm back so don't worry! Last week was a bit hectic so I'm sorry for like 1 chapter being posted last week. This chapter is a bit of a filler because I wanted to write the friend confrontation in Emily's POV not Alison's. If you read this please please pleaseeee review and favorite and follow. :) have a great evening/night/morning/day everybody!**

Alison POV.

I wake up in the morning to find my favorite brunette sleeping soundly. Rubbing my eyes and checking the clock, I see that it is 9:55. Wait, 9:55 isn't right because if it is 9:55 we are supposed to be at school.

"Em, Emily wake up." I say whispering while shaking her. She jolts awake and stretches.

"What is it Ali?" Em questions sleeply.

"Did you set the alarm last night?"

"No, I thought you did." She replies.

"It is 9:55 Em. We are supposed to be at school." I state worried.

"Shit! Well no point in going now." And with that Emily covers her head with the cover's. I laugh because now looking back, we deserve a day off.

"Fine, but babe we gotta meet the girls at lunch still. 11:45 remember."

"Ok but until then I am gonna sleep in. You should join me." Em announces from under the covers. I decide against it because knowing me, I won't get back up if I fall back asleep now. Smiling and letting Em to sleep some more, I check my phone. 1 new, unknown text message was displayed on the screen. Great, A to add to my list of headaches. Clicking on the "read message" icon the text message reads,

*No Mommy, No Daddy, No Jason, and soon to be no Emily -A*

"Fuck everything." I whisper out load as I put my phone back down. Deciding to sit down and clear my head, I grab a book off Em's desk and sit on her cool window couch. The cover reads -Struck By Lightning- and within 2 minutes if reading I am hooked. The plot is about a high school teenage boy who dreams of getting away from the small town he lives in and becoming a journalist. It is basically how he perceives his last year of highschool and how he survives through life's ups & down's. Checking the clock every 30 minutes, by the time Emily has to get up I'm half way done. Setting the book down and walking towards her, I smile because under the covers she looks peaceful.

"Babe... Babe." I say attempting to wake her up with no luck. Getting an idea, I straddle her waist and pull back some of the covers around her face.

"Emmy, babe you gotta wake up now we're meeting the girls soon." She doesn't even budge a little bit from her peaceful sleep. Leaning down, I kiss her softly on the lips hoping that would maybe work and thankfully it did. Em starts to wake up and opens her eye's. Smiling she say's.

"Hey you. I was just about to get up."

"Ya right, Em I've been trying to get you up for the past 5 minute's." I reply still straddling her and laughing.

"Ok ok you caught me but hey what can I say, I like sleep." I start to make a move to get off of her but Em moves her hands to my waist sitting me back down on her stomach.

"I love you Ali. I love you so so much and I'm with you no matter what. I am so sorry about last night to for everything." Emily states brushing some hair out of my face. She always knows what to say because even though today has started off great, the fact that I was kicked out of my house less then 24 hours prior is still in my brain. The way he told me too just hurt. It was like he didn't even care enough to tell me, he just brought out a suitcase and gave me an hour. I would have rather he yelled or told me he hated me for who I love, then him just be silent. But for her to apologize was crazy because she didn't do anything wrong. It was his choice to cut me out of his life. I feel my face heat up and can tell I'm blushing.

"I freaking love you too and babe never apologize for something you didn't do ok. You did not make him cut me out of his life so it is ok."

Em keeps her hand on my cheek and softly cradles my head. It is a small amount of comfort but it is just what I need. Getting off of Emily, she gets out of bed and starts getting dressed. By the time we are both dressed for the day it's 11:32.

"Meet you in the car." Em yells from downstairs.

"Ok be there in a sec." I reply finishing the last of my mascara. Quickly running downstairs, I lock up her house and join Em in the car.

"Do you mind if I play the radio Em?"

"Sure, go ahead." She teases grabbing my hand and waiting for me to find the perfect song before she drives. Flipping through the options and coming up empty handed I click the CD button. Em always has a Red Hot Chilly Peppers CD in because it is her favorite band so I'm surprised when crying comes on instead.

"Emily?" I question confused.

"I don't know what it is Ali." She say's looking back at me worried. " Wha-what am I-I gon-na do now," through to speakers and I snap my head to Emily. What the actual fuck is going on. " You're gonna stay with me Ali. With my family once we tell them in a couple week's," say's soft voice from the CD. I skip a track hoping this is just some sick joke but the next one is just like the previous track. It was Em and I talking or me crying over something that I had lost recently. The final track comes on and it is a computer voice.

"Like my present bitches? Kisses-A," it announces. Emily quickly hits the eject button and sighs waiting for the CD to plop out of its respective slip. In bright red sharpy, reads "there is more presents to come your way -A."

Looking to Emily, I notice her stern face and look of anger/worry.

"Emily?" I say quietly.

"What Alison!" She snaps back and I cower slightly. Em isn't the type to snap so it is extremely scary when she does.

"Nothing." I whisper. She sighs, puts the car in gear and pulls out of the driveway. Half way to the brew, I feel a hand resting on top of my own and look over to a face full of worry on my favorite brunette.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap."

"It is ok I understand. Let's just get to the brew, we are late already." I respond smiling. The rest of the car trip is silent and by the time we show up were 20 minutes late. Getting out of the car and opening the door for Em, we are greeted by 1 happy Aria, 1 neutral Spencer, and one pissed the hell off/annoyed Hanna.

"I will order for us." I state as Em nods and sits down. This is just a wonderful idea, I think with a sarcastic edge as I look back to a Hanna who is giving me the evil eye.

"2 Latte's for Ali!" Somebody shouts and I grab our drink. Making my way back to the girls quickly, I set the drinks down on the table and sit down. It was silent for a minute until Aria speaks.

"Thank you for coming guys."


	18. 18

**Hey! 2 updates in 2 days, I'm on a role! This chapter is kinda Hanna hating on everything and Ali just pushing things away but the next chapter I'm super excited to write because it's hopefully gonna be fluffy like whipped cream. I don't own PLL or anything PLL related! PLEASE REVIEWWEW :) -lexus**

Emily POV.

While Ali went to get drinks I sat down across from Hanna, Spencer, and Aria. Aria was the only one who looked happy to see us but that may have been because of how much coffee she had drank already.

"Hey Em! Glad you could make it." She say's cheerfully. Spencer remained quiet and stern faced. Hanna just looked like she was annoyed.

"Hey no problem Aria." I state chuckling a bit because of how cute and cheerful she can be sometimes. "Ali and I are happy to talk to you guy's to establish some stuff."

"Great can I just say something before the she-demon comes over." Hanna exclaims quietly, not giving me a second to reply.

"Awesome thanks for letting me get this out. What the actual fuck Emily. Are you kidding me? You must be joking like 100% joking right now. She is the devil with pretty blond hair. Alison is straight like a pole and if I remember correctly, you thought she was A a little over a week ago. So what did she do to wrap you around her toe?"

"Hanna it's finger not toe." Spencer say's and then goes back to being quiet.

"Toe finger who cares she gets it."

Ali begins walking back to the group with our 2 drink's and Hanna goes silent.

"Thanks Ali." I announce grabbing my drink from her hands and smiling. Once we are both back sitting side by each, it becomes silent at our table.

Alison speaks up finally.

"Hey guy's thanks for inviting us."

"No problem we figured we needed to apologize for how we reacted at lunch. It was uncalled for." Spencer states smiling a tiny bit.

"Are you all crazy! Uncalled for is an understatement." Hanna says glaring at Ali with no remorse before continuing.

"Alison whatever sick messed up sadistic game you're playing back away. Emily doesn't need you to break her heart again and that is exactly what you will do."

Does everybody think I'm not here and that I can't hear what Hanna is saying. Before I get the chance to strangle Hanna, Ali steps in defending her and myself.

"Hanna I do realize the mistakes I have made in the past but that's the key word in the past. I love Emily ok and I will not break the only good thing I have in my life. Also, I'm not playing a game, Emily matters to me more then anything so before you put Em in a sticky situation."

I smile slightly because Ali put Hanna in her place and told her that she loved Hanna's comment next shocks her.

"You should have just stayed away Alison. You should have never come back and just let us all move on. We all would have been so much happier, I hope you know that. Why do you think everybody in rosewood hates you? You tortured people and frankly, I hate you just like everybody else. You leaving at first was hard but I was so happy to have you gone also." Hanna finished and then gets up and leaves a shocked Ali. How dare she say that. I get she hates Alison but to say that to somebody is completely unfair. Looking across the table Aria and Spencer look like 2 fish out of water.

"I'm gonna go check on her but before I go, Ali I'm sorry for the lunch incident. It doesn't mean I trust you but I don't believe you could be A anymore." Spencer states before walking to find Hanna. Ali still hasn't said anything having a look of pure shock.

"I had no idea she was going to say that guy's. I am so sorry." Aria said shamefully.

"Aria, don't apologize for what other people do ok it wasn't your fault I think you should go check on Hanna though." I state because Ali still hasn't snapped out of the faze she was in. Aria stood up and walked around the table giving me a big hug and looking over to Ali.

"Is she going to be ok?" She questions concerned.

"Ya she's just a bit shocked that's all." I state back. Aria today has been really understanding and though that is who she is, it has helped so much. Even if they are little gestures, it's nice to know that Ali and I have a friend. With that she walks away leaving Ali and I to sort out another catastrophe.

"Ali babe do you wanna go catch a movie or do something to clear our heads?" I ask.

"Can we just go for a drive. Like pack our clothes and just drive some where. It's Friday today anyway so no school for a couple day's." It was a weird request because Ali being on the run would have been enough long car rides to last a life time. Plus A told her not to leave town or else.

"Ali I don't think thats a good idea A told you not to leave town and that would be breaking that rule."

"You're right... Can we go on the roof though, like we used to? Look at the stars and just stay up there." She questions hopefully and I smile. My roof has this perfect area where it dips in the middle kinda like a circle so that when it drains it drains in 4 ways.

"Ali of course, thats a great idea! I still have that giant water proof tent too." My family loved to camp when I was younger and we kept all the stuff. Before Ali and I left, she would come over sometimes and we would set up a tent for a night. Those night's were amazing because it was like Alison's walls would come down and she would let me in.

"Do you want to go now or wait a couple minutes and talk about our friends and what just happened?" I know Ali and she is putting on a brave face. Her changing the subject and avoiding what just happened is one of her flaws to hiding her emotion's.

"Do you wish I stayed away. Stayed dead to you guy's?" Ali asks looking at me in the eye's.

"Ali when I saw you after ravenswood, I went home and cried because the person I still loved was alive. I was crying not because I was sad but because I was to happy to contain myself. You beginning back has made me so much happier then before." I state grabbing her hands before continuing.

"Now let's get going to set up this tent and have another amazing weekend just you and I."

Ali smiles, gets up, and follows me out the door.


	19. 19

**hey I'm back! Here's the next update. Unfortunately not my best work because I have major writers block right now plus school has been crazy. Hope you all like it still and please REVIEWWWW :)))) this is also a really short update so I'm sorry for that too! :/ and this story has almost had 5000 views I'm kinda freaking out :O :D **

Alison's POV.

To say Hanna shocked me would be an understatement. All of the things she said were true for 99% of Rosewood's population but it made me worry about Em and whether she felt the same way. I push those thought's away as we walk out of the Brew and towards the car. Em and I were going to have an amazing weekend. The roof was always one of my favorite places to be with Emily. When we were together up there, it was as if I could be myself without being afraid.

Getting into the car with Emily, I stare at the radio remembering the present A gave us. Apparently, there will be more coming what is terrifying. Before I know it, we are pulling back into Emily's house. I look over to Em and smile without realizing I'm staring. Em slowly turns towards me and tilts her head.

"What?" She questions smirking but obviously confused.

"You're beautiful." I state simply and open my door, leaving her in the car smiling. I open the door and walk in sensing that Em would be in soon. I walk into the houses storage closet trying to find the tent assuming it was there. Feeling a pair of hands wrap around me I smirk, knowing who it is behind me.

"What are you doing in here silly?" Em questions giggling.

"Trying to find the tent. You guy's always used to keep it in here." I state turning my head to look at her. I give her a kiss and she turns me fully around. It's desperate and full of need.

"Babe we gotta stop." She say's starting to pull away.

"Don't you want this though?" I question suddenly becoming insecure.

"Alison yea I do but not like this ok?" I nod because she's right, I may love her but the first time with somebody is supposed to be special, not something done in a storage closet.

"You're right. So anyway where is the tent and camping stuff?" I ask.

"Back here somewhere." She states pointing to the pile of different mundane object's. I smile because I can see it slightly already. Walking to the tent, I yank on it. Two problems with that move, problem one is that I won't budge and problem two is that it was covered in dust. Em giggles behind me and I turn around. She brusts out laughing and steps closer to me, wiping some dirt on my face.

"How about I set up the tent and you have a shower?" she said.

"Deal Em, love you!" I state running quickly do a bathroom. Em is the sweetest I think to myself. She is just amazing and I step into the shower.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

I step out of the shower squeeky clean but look around and realize I forgot to grab cloths to wear. My other one's are covered in dirt and dust. Shit, I think to myself wondering what to do. Emily's room isn't that far away so I decide to make a break for it. Luckily, Em isn't in her room so I quickly get dressed. Just as I am putting on my shirt, Em walk's in.

"Hey sorry! Are you done?" She questions becoming flustered.

"Not really." I state. Em turns around but my shirt gets caught on my necklace and arm.

"Em?" I say quietly as she's about to leave. Emily freezes and turns to face me.

"Need some help?" She asks before marching towards me.

"Please." I announce defeated. I feel helpless and though it's just a shirt, I still hate the feeling. Being always in control was a priority but currently it was like life was spinning out of control and the shirt represented that. She finally untangles the shirt and as if she can read my mind, smiles. Holding my torso with both hand's but not to close to be called a hug, Em traces the scars with her index finger. I shut my eye's and shiver because even though she has seen my scars, I am still self conscious. Keeping my eye's closed, she continues to trace the lines on my torso until she gets to a really deep one. It was from a couple months ago, when I went to go see her. We were sitting on her bed and Emily said she didn't see the good in me anymore. It shattered my heart to hear her say what I already knew was true. I didn't have an ounce of good in me.

"Ali... Ali open your eye's please." She say's softly. I slowly open them to look into her chocolate brown orbs that are full of concern.

"Can I ask you something?" Emily question's.

"Of course anything." I state immediately.

"Have you thought of this recently?"

"Not since the girls questioned you at school. That part of my life is done Em but the scars are gonna be here for awhile. They will be a constant reminder." I announce sadly. Emily pulls me close and hugs me tight before pulling away and smiling.

"Let's eat something and then go up to the tent." Then, She grabs my hand and runs.


	20. 20

**hey I'm back with a super long chapter. I don't own PLL and all mistakes are mine. This is one of my fave chapters cause of how fluffy and cute it is. REVIEW PLEASEEEEE :) next person to review gets a shout out! PS: I write this whole story on my phone so tell me if you see a lot of mistakes please. -alexxus**

Emily POV.

Pulling Ali behind me, I decide to take her to the grill. We didn't get to eat at the brew with the girl's so this would be my treat. We grab our purses and as we run out the door Ali asks "where are we going Emily Fields?"

"The grill and we are walking there."

"We are what! Let's just take the car it's to hot to walk."

"Alison it's 17°C so it isn't to hot. Also the grill is like a 15 minute walk from here so the less you argue the quicker we will be there."

"Why are we walking again?" She questions raising her eyebrow.

"Because I haven't exercised in day's and walking is calming." I state matter of factly before reaching to hold her hand.

"Well then 's let's walk." She replies laughing.

We walk hand in hand all the way to the grill. I open the door for Alison, smiling.

"My lady." I say in a official sounding voice.

"Why thank you." She replies giggling. We walk in and take a seat, looking over the menu silently. Finally, Ali breaks the silence at the table.

"Em is um." She stop's trying to ask her question and then continues.

"Em I am no good at expression and feelings, you know this. But when I'm around you, I know exactly how I feel. And though we say I love you to eachother all the time I never really explain it, in a way." She states before turning away. "Ugh... why is this so hard to tell you? Um ok when I'm with you I can see my happy ending. The happy ending's you love so much, become a reality for me. I love you so much Emily Fields and for so many reasons. You are compassionate and empathetic and so amazing. Though we have only been together for a week, I feel so much more complete with you and happy and I feel truly loved for the first time in my life. You're also getting me to love me again to some how. So, I just wanted to let you know I love you and I have ever since I met you. So Em is this a date?"

I look at her smiling with unshed happy tears in my eye's before nodding my head.

"Yes of course it is silly and I love you so so much Ali. I promise you that you're never gonna hate who you are again because Alison DiLaurentis you are so beautiful." I announce proudly and she blushes. We continue to make some small talk until the server comes.

"Hi my name is Josh and I will be you're server today. I am sorry for the delay. Can I start you two off with some drink's or are you ready to order?" Ali looks over to me and I nod knowing we're ready to order.

"Um I believe we are ready to order." Alison states politely.

"I'm going to have the pesto chicken panini and a soda water." I say before handing my menu to Josh.

"I am going to have your Mediterranean veggie wrap and just a ice water." She say's before handing her menu in also. Josh quickly say's thank you before walking away.

"So what's the plan for the rest of today?" I question.

"Do you maybe wanna go to the mall together for a bit and then hang out in the tent when it gets dark?" She asks.

"That sounds amazing Ali, I have been wanting to go to Hollister for the past week to get some of Lucy Hale's collection." I state

"So do I! I want her romper a lot." Ali starts smiling while she talk's.

"Awesome sounds like a plan Stan." I say happily.

"You're such a dork" Ali states giggling and then I began laughing too.

"It was pretty tacky." I say continuing to laugh. Josh comes over with our drinks seconds after we finish laughing.

"Here you go lady's. One soda water for the brunette and one ice water for the blond." He sets our drinks down on the table.

"Your meals should be out shortly" and he gets waved down by another table leaving us with our drinks. I start drinking my soda water but Ali just smiles and I feel her stare at me.

"What does it taste like?" Ali asks.

"Um like imagine soda but without the flavor and no ice. Do you want some?" I question.

"Sure." And I slide my glass over to her. She takes a sip but immediately cringes.

"You don't like it." I say smirking.

"It's just umm different... Ya different." Alison states, sliding my drink back towards me. Ali quickly takes a sip of her water and sighs.

"This is really nice." I say, leaning back in my chair slightly.

"Ya, it feel's so normal."

"Normal?" I ask clearly confused.

"Normal as in you and me on a date. I never thought this would happen honestly. You thought I was gone for so long and when I was hear before I left, I was a complete bitch to you especially. I was to afraid of losing my social status But I'm not afraid now. That's why I said this feel's so normal. It's an amazing type of normal." Ali finishes talking just as Josh comes back with our late lunches.

"Here you go girl's." Josh announced and handed Ali her plate first, then mine. To say it looked amazing would be an understatement.

"Oh I forgot to give you this." He states as he hands a napkin to Ali and I. The difference between napkins is that mine has a cell number on it. I rapidly try to hide it in my pocket before Ali can see just because I know if she does, she will get upset. Unfortunately, Alison see's me hide the napkin.

"What are you doing Emily." Ali asks sternly. I suck at lying to her so I got for the alternative option and pretend I didn't hear her.

"Emily Fields why did you just stuff that napkin in your pocket. Don't even think about lying to me too because I know the face you make when you lie." Great, I think to myself, apparently I have a face I make when lying. Slowly, I pull the napkin out of my pocket but before handing it over I tell her, "don't get mad ok. He probably didn't know." Ali takes the napkin out of my hand before quickly reading *call me 227-980-3232 -Josh ;)*. Her eyes turn a sharp shade of blue and looks as if she is about to punch him.

"Babe we will talk to him about this in a minute." I state trying to bring her attention back to me talking to her. "Let's just finish lunch first because I'm super hungry." Alison's eyes focus back on me and soften slightly before nodding.

"You're right Em. Let's eat and then I have a plan." She say's before digging into her food. I decide to do the same. Taking a bite of my food, I moan slightly and Alison's head snaps up to me, coughing.

"You ok?" I say smirking as she takes a gulp of her water.

"Ya I'm um I'm good just was eating and choked that's all." She states sheepishly. We eat the rest of the meal in a comfortable silence. Finally, when we are done Josh comes back to take our plate's away and places the bill on the table. Alison has her signature look on and I can tell this isn't going to be a great time for our waiter.

"So Josh," She starts. "Haven't seen you at rosewood high. Where do you go to school?"

"Oh I live just outside of town I go to Glendale about 15 minute drive from here."

"Ah I see. Are you graduating soon?"

"Ya actually I graduated last year but didn't want to go to school after high school. I don't need it way to smart for those losers. Plus when you're a stud like me... You get where I'm going." He winks and me and I roll my eye's. Ali shakes her head before speaking up.

"Actually Josh, I think I don't know. You see I know that you gave your number to my friend over here and I don't like that one bit."

"There is plenty of me to share, you know what I'm saying." He replies smirking and completely cutting Ali off.

"Ya, no ew, but back to my friend over here. You see she's is currently taken and will never be calling you back. That's partly because you seem like a dick and partly because she will never play for you're team. Now she is to polite to tell you to screw off but I am not, you know what I'm saying." He scoffs and then looks around to an empty reasturant.

"And since when did you decide for her."

"Since this." Alison states and then walks over to me. I stand up and think we are about to leave but Ali grabs behind my neck and starts kissing me. Passionatly, she pushes me against the table and I loose all sense of surrounding's. There is just her and I and nothing else. Josh coughs awkwardly and brings me back to the present.

"So you see she is happily taken." Ali states

"here is $35.57 just like the bill say's." I set down the money and we walk out hand in hand just like we walked in. Once we are outisde, Ali starts laughing.

"He seriously gave you his number. I can't stop laughing." She say's practically crying from giggling so much. The walk to the mall was longer then usual but who cares we have all the time in the world. By the time Alison and I enter though its already 4.

"Quickly Em." Ali says and vegans pulling me towards Hollister like a 5 year old.

"I got an idea babe." I state out of the blue.

"What is it?" She asks and I bend down on the ground. Ali gets the idea and hops on my back, wrapping her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist.

"Em I've never done this ok so just don't drop me." She says quickly but smiling. When she says this it reminds me of how difficult it was being raised as a DiLaurentis but I erase that thought and focus on the laughing blond who was currently on my back. I give Ali a piggy back ride all the way to Hollister and then she hops off, practically running in to see if the Lucy hale collection was still fully stocked. I find Ali looking through the Hale collection, her arms already full of cloths. The most notable item in her growing stack was the floral romper that Ali had wanted. Racing over there, I start to search for the items I saw and loved so much online. As I grab the cloths I want, a pair of hands wraps around me and hugging me from behind.

"I'm gonna go try on some cloths ok." She says softly and I turn around to face her.

"Same here so let's go." To say the line for a change room was long would be an understatment. Ali and I both decided just to change in the same room because of how much easier it would be. Together the total amount of cloths we had to try on was 15, what was 6 over the max amount. Lucky for us, the lady who gave Ali and I the room didn't really care. Ali decides to try on the romper with a random brown belt she liked. She turns around with it on and my mouth drops to the ground.

"How do I look?" She asks. "It doesn't look to tight around my tummy does it?" Alison looks so pretty that I can't even reply for a couple seconds because of how stunning she looks and that's all it takes for Ali to let her insecurities get the best of her.

"I knew I should have grabbed a different size. I should have known-" I kiss her and then pull away, stopping her half way through her rant.

"Alison you look stunning. I couldn't speak for a bit because you somehow managed to look even more stunning then you always do." I state and Ali turns a lite colour of red. We try on the rest of our clothes and the proceed to the checkout. Ali begins to pull out her credit card but I stop her.

"It is my day to treat you, that means I got this ok."

"But Em you already payed for lunch." She says but I smile and hand my credit card over to the lady. We both walk out of Hollister with 2 bags each and decide to hail a cab home, even though it is a quick 25 minute walk. Paying for the cab, we hop out and walk to my house.

"Time to set up the tent." Ali states before steping through the font door


	21. 21

**Hey I am back. This update is kinda not the best but I am on a major writers block unfortunately. If you have any ideas can you please DM or review them to me. Follow fave and all that jazz. I don't own PLL or anything PLL related. -lexus**

Alison's POV.

To say the past couple hours with Emily have been amazing would be an understatement. The date, the shopping, everything. We walk into to house and in the living room is a tent still in the bag.

"I took it out before we left for the grill." Em states. I grab it and follow Em up the stairs. Once upstairs, she pulls a little rope that opens the attic. Going threw the attic is the only safe way onto the roof, so I began to make my way up the make shift ladder. and Em follows me this time. Just as I'm getting to the top I feel the board crack slightly and I freeze. Suddenly the whole step crumbles and I'm sent flying back onto an unexpecting Emily. We both fall off the 10 foot ladder. *THUMP* is the sound that the floor makes when I fall on top of Em. Getting up slowly, I realize that Em isn't getting up with me. Rolling off of her I start to get worried.

"Em.. Em." I say and she opens her eye's.

"Ughh." She groans and I jump back on Em, hugging her tight. "Ali, babe can't breath." She say's wheezing.

"I was so worried. Are you ok?" I question immediately.

"Ya I am don't worry. What happened?" She replies. I look up to the attic ladder and see the board snapped. It was right at where the board connected to the side of the ladder.

"Once of the boards snapped, looks like a fluke accident." I state and she looks at me funny.

"Thats weird though because we just replaced the ladder like 3 months ago." Then both of our phones go off. Em reads the message before I even reach for my phone. *My oh my what a fall. Next time it won't be so small-A*.

"Fucking god can we do anything without A screwing it up!" I scream but Em just moves to hug me. She wheezes while hugging me and I'm brought back to the main problem.

"Emily I think we should go to the ER."

"Babe, I promise you that I'm ok. Just had the wind knocked out of me." She say's confidentiality. Looking back at her, she pushes some hair from my face, cupping my cheek.

"I love you." I state, my voice cracking.

"I love you to." With that Em stands up and pulls me up with her. Checking the rest of the steps, she nods and gives me the all go to walk back up them. Once in the attic I push open a window and hope out onto the roof. Setting the tent bag down, I help Em up and we both sit down before proceeding to make the tent. As we sit there peacefully, I start thinking about how different our lives would be if A was never around. That bitch changed me from a 15 year old brat who had everything, to a scared and fragile 18 year old you see today. But through everything, the ups and downs of A, she finally got me to admit where my heart was. My train of thought is broken when I see Em start to unzip the tent bag. Getting up and helping her out, she smiles her beautiful smile at me and then gets back to work.

With us working together the tent is almost completed in under 15 minute's. As I put the last pole through the tent, we step back to admire our sleeping arrangement for the night or two. We simultaneously look over to eachother and I pull her in for a kiss. A desperate, longing, comforting kiss. It is all these things even though it only lasts a few second's. Pulling away, we begin to laugh until Em and I can't breath.

"Thank you for today." I say. She replies with,

"Anytime Ali. I love seeing you happy." With that she grabs my hand and we walk back through the attic, to grab all of the blankets and some other essential tent objects. By essential I mean a laptop, some movies, our cell phones and a solar powered laptop charger. Once I have all the essential items and Em has the blankets, we head back up to the tent. By the time everything is settled, it's 6:55pm and starting to get dark.

"What movie do you want to watch first." I ask her and Em just say's, "whatever one you want to see."

"Em I always chose one, this time it's your choice." I state firmly because what I said was true.

"Fine let me think. Ummm." She says pondering the choices we had for movie's. "How about we watch the breakfast club? I know you love that movie and so do I so ya let's watch that."

Putting the DVD in the laptop, I lean back to cuddle into my girlfriend. The movie begins to play and I look up to Em. She is mouthing the words each person says on the laptop screen. Emily snaps out of her trance and looks down to find me staring at her lovingly.

"You're adorable and really comfy." I whisper before turning back to the laptop. Em puts her arm around my shoulder and lays it on my torso. Through the whole movie, we stay in the same position and Em continues to mouth the words. As the end credits play through, she does the fist pump at the same time as Bender. I giggle and then say "dork."

"Gotta be one to know one." She replies cheekily and then she sighs. I begin to get worried because when Em sighs its usually over something bad.

"What is it?" I question and she stops the movie moving to the opposite side of the tent. The only light in the tent is from the moon and that creates a spooky contrast.

"Em what is it?" I ask again.

"Does it seem like A is letting us be to happy? Like I know we get messages but we shake them off so much easier now. I don't understand it, maybe I just feel safer and more at ease with you but I have just never been this happy Ali. What if something happens or this is just apart of A's plan. I'm so worried and scared." She say's and begins to hold back unshed tears from falling. I stare at her and am completely speechless. I have no idea on how to console her because she's right. This could all be a trap somehow and maybe A is working an angle but I'm not.

"Emily, you are right. This could be some A plan but I don't care. I am so much happier then I have ever been and that is all because of you. If there is another motive at play it isn't from me because I unconditionally love you with every sliver of my whole being. When a problem comes up we will fix it together ok because that is what we are. We are together so if anything happens we face it together. Until then we stay happy and positive or we will worry ourselves to death. I promise you Emily, you don't need to be scared when I'm around because I'm gonna protect you from everything and anything." I state firmly as I move over to her and pull her close my my chest. She tumbles into me and let's me just hold her for awhile. Suddenly she asks, "what movie next?" I smile and grab one randomly off the pile.

"Apparently, pitch perfect."


	22. 22

**hey! This chapter has a ton of time skips just cause they go to sleep and stuff. Please review lots! Hope the chapter isn't to short and you all enjoy!.**

Emily POV.

After my slight breakdown, I felt so much lighter. I knew prior to our talk that Ali was there for me but her just saying it the way she did made it seem that much more real. The end credits to pitch perfect roll across the screen and I hear a slight snore. Looking down towards Ali, I find her gripping onto my sweater, while snuggling as close as possible into me. Her breathing is soft and steady, as if she is completely at peace with everything the world has thrown at her. I smile and close the laptop putting it back in it's case. Deciding to just sit there and collect my thoughts, I begin to process everything that has happened over the past week and a bit before that.

Everything has changed so quickly, as if all of these major breakthoughs have happened in the blink of an eye. Before last week, Ali was the top contender to be A and now she's my girlfriend. She has made such impressive progress to getting better and I am so proud of her. Though it has only been a week but she referred to cutting as an addiction so I assume it has been harder then Ali has been letting on. Everything I told her was true, every word of it. I've never been this happy, even if A is letting us off easy and is probably gonna do something terrible soon. I push all the thoughts of A to the back of my brain and focus back on everything that has changed. Paige is no longer relevant and won't be in the near future, romantically or even just as friends. I loved her but wasn't in love with her. This was something I never noticed until my feelings for Ali resurfaced when she got back. Hanna hates the idea of me being even 10 feet near Ali, never mind being her girlfriend. Eventually, she will learn to accept it, hopefully. I am so happy that Aria is okay with us though and at least Spencer is warming up to the thought of it. All that much change in about a week.

Deciding to lay down, I look out of the tent to the sky full of star's that shine brightly. I feel Ali grip onto me closer while tensing so I wrap my arm around her body. She begins to relax but keeps her death grip on my sweater. I chuckle because she is just to cute when she sleep's.

Turning back at the star's, I begin to notice all the constellation's that I used to love to look at and am reminded of how long it has been since I've been up here. The last time was just before Ali left for Georgia. We used to point out all the constellations and wonder how far away it was. Whoever could find the most, would win. It was times like that she would let down the walls she always had up and let me in. It was so nerdy of us and after Ali would deny it was any fun but I've never seen her smile so much or laugh at how competitive we were being. I look over to her and smile while turn my body towards her. Giving her a kiss on her forehead, I wrap my other arm around Ali's body creating a hug. Finally, I pull her impossibly closer and fall asleep like that.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

I wake up to a thrashing Alison who is also crying in her sleep. Rubbing my eyes quickly, I see that it is still dark out and the sky is without even a slight tint of it getting any lighter. I get up and wonder what am I supposed to do. I decide to straddle her waist and as I do so Ali starts to hit me. Rapidlly, I grab her arms and put them above her head but she continues to shake, almost as if to try and get me off of her. Her tears still cascade down her face, onto the pillow under her head. Ali at this point is still talking in her sleep.

"No, please please stop not her. Take me instead. No." She almost screams over and over again. I let go of her arms and try to shake her awake but she begins to hit me again.

"Ali, Ali wake up please you're scaring me." I say loudly. Wiping off her tears that still fall, she jolts awake, her eye's wild and terrified.

"It's just a dream Ali, I'm here, it was just a dream." I state soothingly but Ali remains unmoving and ridged. After another 10 seconds her eye's snap to me and I pull Ali up carefully, hugging her body tightly. Continuing to repeat what I said to her before, she slowly starts to hug me back and when she does, it feels like a desperate hug to feel safe. A hug that conveys how terrified she feels.

"You're ok." she say's as if she is trying to convince herself.

"Ya I'm ok, you're ok too. You were just having a bad dream." I announce, attempting to be soothing but I probably sounded like a scared little kid. I have never seen her like this and even though Ali freaked out when she was kicked out, it wasn't like that.

"Just a dream ok." We sit there in silence hugging. My main thought is making sure Alison knows she is ok but this nagging question keeps popping up. What was she dreaming about? The silence break when Ali looks straight at me and say's, "can you hold me please? Because um it's still early and I am to scared to go back to sleep by myself and maybe if yo-" I cut off her rambling by giving her a quick kiss and a smile.

"Ali remember when I said I would protect you?" I ask and she nods. "Well I am gonna protect you from nightmares too." I state smiling and she smiles back before laying back down. Ali pats the spot beside her on our makeshift tent bed and I get the hint. Slowly, I move beside her and pull her close to my body so that I am the big spoon.

"Thank you." Alison whispers.

"Anything for you." I reply. My questions can wait for tomorrow when we wake up, I think to myself and fall asleep.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Drip, drip, drip. I feel water dripping on my face. I look up to see Ali dropping small drops of water on my head.

"Finally," she said exasperated, "I though you just decided to sleep forever!"

Laughing I reply with, "so you thought let's drop water on her face instead of shaking me up."

"Ya pretty much. It's more fun that way" she states and then giggles, dropping a ton of water from her water bottle onto my head.

"Hey!" I shriek. She just keeps laughing and then slowly the laughs stop.

"I love you and thank you for last night."

"What was your nightmare Ali?" I ask before I am able to bite my tongue.

"I um no it was nothing." She states simply but I shake my head.

"Alison it wasn't nothing. I've never seen you like that it was like I had no control and you were almost screaming. Finally, when you woke up it was like you didn't even realize I was there until I hugged you... It scared me so bad Ali but not for myself, for you. I was so scared for you." I announce and she looks away.

"I um it was just a dream. It was about-"

**MWHAHAHAHA a small cliff hanger! What do you think she was dreaming about?**


	23. 23

**Shout out to emisonfeels2 for being the 10th reviewer! I am back with some inspiration and though this is a super short chapter in my opinion, it is one of the most pirtant one's to date! I hope you all love it and REVIEWWWW because the more ideas the better -lexus**

Ali POV.

"About A. I have them all the time but this time it was different. There usually about somebody who matters to me but last night it was even worse. Last night it was about you." I state shaking slightly due to nerves coursing through me.

"What about me Ali?" She questions and puts a hand on my arm trying to calm me down. I smile and nod but my breathing starts to become rapid almost to the point of hyperventilation.

"Ali, calm down. You and I are both okay so just breath." I take a deep breath and focus on her voice. After what feels like 30 seconds, my breathing slows down and I continue.

"I was in a brightly lit room, alone. Then the a small square part of the floor started moving and up you came, tied to a chair and blindfolded. So naturally, I ran to you and took off your blindfold but you were unconscious. And then somebody apart of the A team grabbed me and pulled me away from you. The whole scene faded to a dark room and you were still in the chair but I couldn't move from where I was standing. Then big A put a gun to your head and-" I pause because reliving that dream is hell. "Em I don't wanna talk about this ok. I know it won't happen because I'm gonna protect you as much as possible from A but I don't wanna even think about it."

"I understand babe. Don't worry okay." Nodding Em and I get out of the tent and walk back into her house. Deciding to shower, Em states that she is gonna make us some breakfast while I'm gone. Once I'm done my shower and am ready to face the day Emily has already set the table for breakfast.

"Hello gorgeous." She say's smiling and I blush.

"Hello beautiful." I cheekily reply. I sit down at the table and Em brings out a pan of pancakes, giving me two of them. Grabbing the maple syrup, I pour a ton onto the top of my breakfast cakes and lick my lips.

"Pancakes with maple syrup! Now what did I do to deserve somebody like you?"

"Well I am pretty amazing if I do say so myself." She states, pushing her hair out of her face as if she's a model.

"And oh modest!" I state giggling. As the laughter dies down, I decide to dig in. The pancakes are okaylden and cooked to perfection. After talking about my nightmare to Em, I feel so much safer. We eat in comfortable silence as usual but it feels as if there is a small amount of tension in the air. Deciding to ignore it, I get up and put my plate in the dishwasher. I look back to see Em still unmoving. Still as can be, almost as if the outside world doesn't exist. Out of nowhere, I hear my phone ring. It's either a text I don't care about or a text from an unknown person I hate. For those of you who are wondering, it was the second one.

*Break up with Emily or you'll be sorry. You have 1 hour to decide-A*

Fucking god, can't A just leave me be with somebody. They have already taken everything of mine and to take Emily too will leave me bare. Almost like not wearing clothes. Time starts to tick and I know I have to decide fast. Maybe Hanna is right about me and about how almost all of rosewood would hate me but after what I'm about to do to protect Em everybody will hate me. Looking back to Em, I see her get up and make her way to where I was standing.

"Something wrong?" Emily asks when she see's me visibly frown.

"I'm so sorry Em." I state almost on the verge of crying.

"What are you talking about Ali?" She asks walking near me but I take a couple steps back because if she gets any closer I will tell her I'm doing this against my will.

"We can't be together anymore. The past week has been great but I just don't think we are going to work out. I'm sorry." I state wrapping my arms around my body as if to hug myself.

"Ar-are you breaking up with me?" She questions in complete shock.

"Yea" I state wiping away a tear and the look on Emily's face shatters my heart.

"I-I trusted you... I protected you from everybody Ali. You said that you weren't playing games that you actually cared about me." She says and then waits as if to expect a sarcastic remark but that isn't the case.

"Em you don't understand how much this kills me. This is something that I am gonna regret for the rest of my life." And with that I run upstairs because if I stay even a second longer around her my resolve will crumble and A will hurt her. I grab a random bag of mine and leave the rest of my stuff at Em's house as I run out the door bawling. All I hear as I leave is sobs coming from the kitchen that being to a broken hearted Emily. I get to the house that I used to but no longer live in and go through a little entrance into the house from the backyard to a hide out of mine. It is small and cramped but it for now is a place to call home. There is only one real entrance and exit but it will work for now. I look at my phone that hasn't stopped buzzing since I left Emily in a crying mess just like A told me to do. There is only one message of the seven in my mailbox that I care about.

*Good job, she stay's safe -A*

With that, I sit down on a small bench in my hideout and cry until I fall asleep. This is the first time I've fallen asleep without feeling safe in the past week and a bit. It's all because Emily isn't here with me.


	24. 24

**Hey! This is another really short chapter I know butttt this chapter reveals some secrets and some of the A team. I also did a bit of a twist half way through and changed the POV. this was partially because I wanted to write more from Alison's perspective and partly cause I wanted to be creepy with Paige. Review and all that jazz! I don't own PLL -lexus**

Emily POV.

It has been 3 day's since Ali and I stopped being together. I also haven't stopped crying. She wasn't at school either it's almost as if she has disappeared all over again. I am still worried though because A is out there and I have this gut feeling she hasn't left rosewood. She doesn't have the money to do that and plus she said she wouldn't leave ever again. Ali also told me this when we were together so I have no idea if she was lying or not.

None of the girls know about my situation and at school when Aria asked where Ali is I just lied and told her, on a business trip with her dad. She believed me thank god and then left because Hanna was shooting daggers at her. My parents are in Texas for another 11 day's so I decide to skip the first couple periods of school and tell everybody I'm sick. By everybody I mean Aria because she is pretty much the only friend that I have left. Just as I'm about to send one text, I receive another.

*How's the single life? She breaks your heart once shame on her. She breaks your heart twice shame on you -A*

Fucking A and always knowing everything. I just want to be left alone so can't he, she, they, it just lay off a bit! Whatever Ali did in the past shouldn't result in all of this destruction. It couldn't have been that bad to deserve all of this pain. I fall back asleep thinking about Ali and worrying about her even through everything.

By the time, I wake up it's 1 and I am still in a crappy mood. Quickly getting dressed, I just barley make it to school in time for my last class of the day. Walking into class, the only open desk is beside Paige, who looks way to happy at this inevitable fact. Also, I see that the teacher as per normal hasn't even entered the room never mind started teaching. Sitting down, she looks at my face and her smile drops.

"You've been crying." She states simply.

"Ya so what." I reply getting agitated easily.

"What did she do!" She demands and at the pace of this conversation, I am becoming both bored and annoyed.

"She is in fact on a business trip with her father so I have been crying because I miss her." I lie but my right eye twitches and Paige can tell that what I just told her wasn't true.

"You are lying but fine if you wanna go with that Emily be my guest. I knew she was going to break you Em." I flinch at my nickname and then sneer.

"I am not your Em so do not call me that understand." She loses confidence in herself and goes silent. After about a minute, Paige speaks back up.

"Do you want to go get coffee sometime?" I snap my head to her as if she just grew a head.

"No I don't. I'm sorry Paige but I don't like you like that." I state.

"Oh um okay. Just know that I'm here for you Em as a friend and or more." Just as she finishes talking the princable comes in and tells us that our teacher just called in sick and there is no subs that can come in on such short notice. I grab my bag and walk out.

XOXOXOXOXO

Paige POV.

My plan didn't freaking work. I took the offer the black hoodie gave me, to get her back and it didn't work. But the plan might possibly work though, as long as I keep Alison away from Em for a bit longer. I text Alison on my burner phone while I walk out of class, smiling.

*Stay away from Emily or our deal is off- kisses A* I smirk a bit because this day is getting better and better. In fact the past 3 day's have been. First, Em had to sit beside me in class and then teacher called in sick with no backup so no last period. Best. Day. Ever. Not to mention Alison and her aren't together anymore, I took care of that. Thank god too because I hate that bitch and how she always took Emily away from me. But never again because I have leverage now and lot's of it. Being apart of the A team gives you lot's of advantages.

Deciding to make Alison hurt even more, I send another A text but this time it has a photo attached.

*How does it feel to break Emily's heart again? -A* The photo attached was one I took yesterday of Em crying in her room. Smirking once again, I slip my phone into my pocket and continue with my day.


	25. 25

**I'm back and it's only been a day! Its amazing I know! This chapter turned out really well in my opinion and I would like the thank those who reviewed on the couple chapters again. This has drunk Ali so yay! Review please!**

**Warning: mentions self harm and may be a trigger. I do not own PLL! **

Alison POV.

To say the past month has been terrible would be an understatement. A has been sending me photo's none stop of Emily being sad and threatening me at every turn. I am practically living 24/7 in my little hide out because if I so much as see Em, our deal is off and A hurts her. The only amount of comfort I have now is a bottle and a sharp object. I know I promised Em I would stop, but it's impossible now. I'm not going to take it all the way because I need to protect Emily but it takes the edge off.

The girl's aka Aria and spencer think that I have currently gone on a long term 2 month business trip with my dad and am taking my courses online till I get back. I'm so surprised they bought that lame lie but whatever floats your boat. Looking around my small hideout, I see my make-shift shelve has some whisky and I decide that will be the comfort of choose tonight.

As I reach for it, my sleeve rolls up slightly to expose some red marked skin and I know the marks are infected. Those cuts are nearly a week old and haven't healed even in the slightest. They still burn when not covered also so that helped me guess that they were a tad infected. Ignoring the pain, I grab the whisky and immidatly crack it open. I know its only 4:05 pm but I need to be numb and its 7 pm somewhere. This is how I live my life now being either drunk or hung over and doing the odd online calculus course. Hell, it's even how I spent my Christmas. Being reminded of Christmas almost makes me want to cry because it is Emily's favorite holiday and even though her dad was down, (Her dad is back in Texas now and her mum is working night shifts at the police station) A sent me photos of her crying. Usually they have a caption about how does it feel to break her heart and emotional comments like that. I wish she would know that I'm only doing this to protect her but I can't tell her that. When A sent those text messages, I took a photo of them so that when I figure out who this bitch is, I can prove to Em that what I felt for her is real. That I was being forced practically to break up with her. At this thought I down some whiskey straight from the bottle because I know I'm going to drink most of it anyway.

By the fifthth gulp I feel the familiar buzz and by the seventh I feel almost numb. The memories fade from my mind almost except for one. I wonder how Emily is today? It's a stupid thought but it never leaves the back of my brain. I take another gulp because eventually the thought dies down but this time it refuses to leave my thought process. Suddenly, more thoughts start to pop up and my numb feeling I had fades. Putting my hands against my ears, I attempt to block them out but they won't so I take another gulp. This is gulp nine and I know I'm totally wasted but the feelings and questions remain.

"Fucking god, stop." I scream to myself. "Please just stop. Please." I plead now quieter. Rubbing my eye's, the well known feeling of tears hit's the palms of my hands. Out of nowhere I stand up and grab the whiskey bottle. My legs pull me out of my hideout and it is as if my body is moving at its own accord. I know my direction immediately and my brain is mentally screaming at me to turn back around. But I can't because my body disires to be somewhere else and refuses to listen. It wants to be with Emily, where I feel safe and welcome and loved. In my drunken state it takes me 25 minutes to walk to her house and when I get there, her driveway is empty. Of course, I think to myself, she has a life Alison, she isn't gonna just sit around all the time.

I walk up to her porch and sit down, clutching my whiskey. My numbness begins to fade again so I take 3 more gulps and the my eye lids begin to droop but a car pulls in, just before I fall asleep wasted. I hear a gasp and try to stand up but tumble forward. As I'm about to land on my face, a pair of familiar hands catch me and place me back upright.

"Ali?" Em asks, completely confused. My nerves begin to catch up to me so I attempt to take a drink from the bottle in my hand. As it touches my lips, Em takes the bottle away and I reach for it like a toddler reaching for a toy.

"Give it back Emmy." I whine but she just shakes her head no.

"Your wasted Alison." She replies simply. Out of nowhere I blurt out.

"I've missed you so much Emmy. It has been so scary without you."

"Then why the hell did you leave in the first place!" She say's grabbing my arm and I wince.

"Emmm that hurts me, stop it." I plead because it truly did hurt. She let's go and looks at me with such worry that I can feel my heart break and mend at the same time.

"Alison why did that hurt you?" Emily asks, already knowing the answer. I stay silent because I am so ashamed that I broke her promise and that I went back to old ways.

"Alison DiLaurentis why did that freaking hurt you!" She stares at me with such conflict in her eye's and everything inside me break's. Even though I have no right, I start to sob and clutch my body around me as if its cold out. Seconds later, my body in enveloped in a hug that makes me feel safe for the first time in a month. As we stand there, me sobbing and Emily hugging I chant over and over again how sorry I am. Sorry for everything.

"Shhh, Ali. Breath ok just breath." She announces trying to sooth me on her front porch.

"I-I didn't wa-want to bre-break up with yo-you Emmy." I say in my still drunken state.

"Wait what do you mean Alison?" She questions slowly and I instantly curse. A is gonna hurt her now just because I can't handle my alcohol and was lonely.

"I um I gotta go." I slur and grab my whiskey from beside me. Em reaches for my wrist and grabs it just in time, pulling me back towards her

"You aren't going out alone like this, not with A out there." At the mention of A, I rip my wrist from her grasp and simply reply with, "that's why I can't stay."

As I walk away, my tears still drip from my face and I hear Em call for me. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a black hooded figure.

"Is this what you want A! To see me broken! Well not anymore." In my drunken mentality, I charge the hooded figure. 50ft away, 40ft away, 30ft away and so on. When I'm 10ft maximum from it, they smile and pull out there phone as if to taunt me. Then I see they press a button on it and a computer voice rings through the speakers.

*having fun yet? Because I am -kisses A* After I hear the recording, all that is visible to me is red. As if somebody put a red piece of cardboard in front of my face but just as I take a step, A pulls out a pistol.

"Go ahead and shoot! See if I care, maybe if you killed me you would leave them alone." I scream and just as I start to run, somebody grabs me from behind. I thrash until their voice clicks in and I settle.

"Ali, no ok. I'm not going to lose you like that. In a hail of bullet's, completely wasted off your ass." All I do as she talks is stand still and stare at where A had been.

After a minute of silence, I turn around face Em. My numbing of emotions now gone, I look into her eye's and kiss her for the first time in a month. She pulls away quickly and shakes her head. Each time she shakes her head no, my heart shatters a small bit inside and I look away to head the hurt in my eye's.

"Ali you've been gone for a month and you haven't called. You haven't even sent a text message. You broke my heart."

"And breaking your heart broke mine. Em you are all I want and A told me that if I even looked at you this person would hurt you. I've been relapsing because A took away one of the main reasons I'm still here and held the way I felt for you as a blackmail opportunity."

"Alison what do you mean relapse? Does this have anything to do with you wincing before?" All I do in response is nod and she opens her arms to hug me. I graciously accept but I know this is only the beginning of a recovery to our previous relationship that I miss so dearly.

"I still love you." I state slurring slightly.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to say. I know I still love you to Ali but we're gonna have to work on this a bit. Let's go inside ok?" She half asks, half states. I grip onto her shirt and follow her lead. Half way up the stairs though I trip and let go of Em so she doesn't fall with me. My knee collides with the edge of the step and I slides down the stairs, my head getting knocked in the process. Then it's pitch black.


	26. 26

**HEYYYY! this update is kinda short but I still hope you like it. After this fic is done, I have ideas for another one so don't worry that once this fic is done that I will disappear. I've been busy so thats why I haven't updated in a bit. I am also happy to report that I shall be doing another chapter to Human because it seems like there is a lot of people who want a second chapter. Thank you all so much for the reviews and the Private messages!**

Emily POV.

As soon as I feel Ali let go of me, I begin to panic. Looking down, I come to find a semi-unconscious Alison. Quickly I lean down and sit Ali upright.

"Ali you there?" I question shaking her slightly. Her eyes flutter open and moves her head slightly.

"Ok good because you had me worried there." I state smiling. Helping her to stand up, she wobbles back and forth. Frankly, I have no idea if thats from her being drunk or because she was just knocked out cold and now has a goose egg on the side of her head.

Noticing my concern, it is as if Ali snaps in half and it is evident in her tone. "I'm fine okay. I'm drunk right now remember!" I step back from holding Ali because her outburst surprised me.

"Ya sorry." I mumble and figure she can walk up to my house without my help. I open the door for her but the look she gives me crushes my heart. Why is she acting like this? Did I do something wrong that I should be sorry for? If anything, I should be the one giving her the cold shoulder.

Alison walks into the house and turns to me before I can take 3 steps inside.

"You let A get away." She states simply her arms crossed and I know this is the start of her becoming sober. Whenever she starts to sober up, she becomes either really mean or really possessive.

"Ya I let A get away, I guess you could see it as that." I reply back with a sharp edge to my tone.

"That is the only way I see it. You single handedly ruined the one shot we had to catch that maniac."

"That's your opinion. In my eye's I saved your life for the second time and I have no idea why." As soon as I say it, Alison's eye's water and I instantly regret every word of my sentence.

"Wow um." She clears her throat and tries to blink back to unshed tears that threaten from falling. "Thats how you see it. Okay cool. Well I'm going to go now." She moves through my house towards the door to my backyard. It is as if my words instantly made her sober.

"Ali, Ali wait." I say walking after her.

"No, I'm sorry that I have been such a disappointment to you Emily but I never expected you to say it like that. It's fine." Her hands reach for the door handle and then she speaks up again. "By the way, I broke up with you to protect you from A. Not because I don't love you but because I love you so damn much, that I risked my happiness so you wouldn't get hurt." She begins to turn the handle to the door any agonizingly slowly as if begging me to ask her to stay. But I can't find my words until the door opens and she takes a 5 steps into the outside world.

"Ali, stay please." I whisper and I'm completely surprised she heard me. Turning around, you can see her tear stained face partially because her mascara is falling with the tears and partly because her eyes still glisten with even more tears to fall. She puts her arm around her head, covering her mouth as she sobs and I walk slowly forward. She takes a step back every step I take forward but eventually hits my back fence. Taking this as my chance to hug her once again, I rush forward so she doesn't have time to reach.

As I hug her, you can almost physically feel some of her heart mend back together. As if some of the smallest little cracks that A and I and everybody else have created, are being fixed one by one. The problem is that the bigger cracks aren't going to be fixed by a hug. The cracks that her father caused and cracks that made her go to such extremes. They would eventually be fixed with support and knowing that she doesn't need to do this alone ever again. That she doesn't need to listen to A's threats to hurt me because what she did, effected us both equally and that the threat put her in even more danger then before. I understand why she let A control us and I forgive her already because underneath her fake I can do everything attitude, shes just as broken and scared as before, if not more.

"Ali, let me back in please. You are gonna hurt yourself even worse if you let A continue to do this to you and one day that hurt you feel in here," I pull away and point to her heart. "And in here," I point to her brain. "Is gonna be to much and you are going to go back to the place you were a little over a month ago. So Ali let me help you." She wraps her arms around my tummy and back, pulling me into a death grip.

"Di-did you mean wh-what you said?" She asks and I know she is referring to my statement about saving her life again.

"Not a single word. I was just so frustrated and mad, I am so sorry Alison." After I say this, she grips onto me even tighter then before as if to say she believes me and I just hold her silently in my backyard.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Paige POV.

God damn it Alison. You were supposed to stay away, it was just that simple. Now I'm going to have to hurt my precious Emily, all because you got drunk. I stand there in the bushes watching Em hug Alison DiLaurentis and I reflect to the past hour.

Alison screaming at me, asking me if A (aka me) was happy because she's now broken. Me pressing the recording or a computer talking back if I said anything she would recognize it was me. Alison charging and I remember pulling the gun out on her. She wouldn't stop running and I was so close to pulling the trigger. Then Em came and grabbed her from behind, completely ruining my plan. And here I stand now, watching Alison cry and Emily be the protector.

It isn't supposed to be like this, I think to myself. It's supposed to be me and Em together, not her and Alison. But hopefully, not for long. All I need is to be patient, continue to be A and eventually, Alison is gonna make a mistake. After that Emily will see she isn't good for her and then come back to me.

I smile at the thought, walk to the end of the bushes and run down the street unnoticed.


	27. 27

**wow its been like 5 days already and I must aapologize! I've been super busy but that shouldn't be an excuse and again I'm sorry because this chapter is again short! Hopefully you all still enjoy it though! Review with ideas or thoughts or really over anything! -lexus**

Alison's POV.

We stood silently in my backyard until I heard the bushes ruffle slightly and my head snaps up.

"What was that?" I ask quietly, fearing the answer.

"What was what Ali?" Em replies.

"Just the bushes they moved. Thought something was there." Suddenly, they move again and every terrible A thought comes to mind. Seconds later, a little brown bunny rabbit pops out and I nearly have a heart attack. Em begins to giggle and by the time I turn around she can't contain her laughter.

"Hahahaha. Oh god and your face when it jumped out. Haha." She say's practically crying from laughing so hard.

"Haha, very funny." I state sarcastically but this just makes Emily laugh even harder. Her laughs die down slightly when she see's me cross my arms defiantly.

"You know I'm just messing with you Ali, I'm sorry for laughing." She say's giggling still.

"I know Em." I reply smiling but the smile doesn't last long because a statement pops out of my mouth faster than I can stop it.

"I have to go back to were I'm staying." Emily's mouth drops open because she knows I'm right but then she offers something that surprises me.

"No, you don't. You are staying with me and my mum. I will explain it to her tomorrow morning." I nod in response and smile.

"Thank you Em. Really for everything tonight."

"Anytime Ali, you know that." We walk back inside together and she goes to her kitchen.

"Meet you upstairs in a sec Ali." Em states. Walking up stairs, I flashback where I was about a month ago and what happened.

_*"Something wrong? "_

_"I'm so sorry Em."_

_"What are you talking about?" She questions completely confused._

_" We can't be together anymore. The past week has been great but I just don't think we are going to work out. I'm sorry."_

_" Ar-are you breaking up with me?" Em asks._

_"Yea."*_

My flashback ends when I hear Em start walking towards the stairs and I race to her room. I stand there awkwardly until she opens the door and then closes it behind her, sealing us off from everybody else.

"Um can I borrow a pair of sweats or something to sleep with?" I ask quietly suddenly becoming anxious.

"All your stuff is actually in my closet so if you want to you can wear my clothes or yours." She said quietly. She kept all the stuff I didn't take with me and for some reason it makes me feel happy and terrible at the same time.

"Thanks." I reply and walk to the closet grabbing some sweats that are Emilys and take a loose t-shirt from my bag. I go to change but when I turn around Em isn't there. I take my time to change and clean up, than decide to go look for her.

"Em... Em!?" I call out but there is no response.

"Emily where are you?" I question. Walking downstairs, I find Em on the couch curled up in a blanket asleep but some tear stains are evident.

Why does it seem like every time I'm with her or near her one of us is crying. I just want her to be happy but all I do is make her sad. Em shifts uncomfortably and I chose to attempt to bring her to bed.

Going on all foors underneath the the couch, I roll em onto my back and sling her arms around my neck. She turns out to be lighter then I though and I begin to shuffle to the stairs with her on my back. Once I reach the stairs, I set Em down on the floor carefully to not wake her up. How am I going to do this? I think to myself but then get an ingenious idea.

I go to the storage closet and find an old wooden sled. Putting a blanket over it, I push Em onto her back so she is on the sled popperly. Then, I grab the string and begin to pull her up the sled. By the time we reach halfway up the stair's, I'm exhausted but continue to pull her up the stairs.

I know its stupid to not wake her up but she looks so happy and I don't want to ruin thay , especially after everything that happened tonight. Finally, we reach the top of the stairs and I pull her into her room. Completely surprised she hasn't woken up yet, I become extra quiet and pull the sled out from under her silently.

"Success," I announce under my breath and she stirs slightly. Holding my breath, Em falls back to sleep peacefully seconds later. "Thank godness."

I pull back the covers and make sure her pillow is situated properly. Then putting one arm under her legs and one arm under her neck, I heave Em up onto her bed. Immediately, she clings onto a stuffed animal on her bed and sighs. Unsure of where I should sleep, I settle on sliding beside Em as far as I can on the bed but it feels foreign and uncomforting so I slid closer to her. Drifting off, my mind falls into a deep sleep.


	28. 28

**Hey! I am so sorry for the longish wait! This is kinda a cute random none special chapter just some fluff and ffiguring stuff out. Thank you all so so so so much for the reviews and all I can say is keep em coming. Your ideas are super important and help me a lot with this writers block! All mistakes are mine and no I don't own PLL -Lexus.**

Emily POV.

Once I am on the couch the tears from my eye's start to fall, the tears that I've been holding down. I begin to feel myself fall asleep but the crying doesn't stop so I slip into subconsciousness and start to dream.

_*"I'm so comfy that I don't think I'm ever gonna move from this spot." I state happily hugging Ali under my covers. Ali laughs, smiles and then say's,_

_"Your a dork but I love you anyway."_

_"Well I'd hope since I am you girlfriend." I reply smirking and them giving her a kiss._

_"Haha I love it when you say that word." She states after we kiss._

_"What word?" I question already knowing the answer._

_"Girlfriend, it's the best word in the whole English vocabulary in my opinion."_

_"Is that so. I guess you really do learn something new every day." I reply laughing._

_"My favorite time that it is used, is when you say it though." Ali say's cheekily. I smile and then Ali leans forward and pressing a kiss on my lips. Rolling ontop of me, she gives me three more quick kisses before rolling back off of me and walking downstairs. Two minutes later I hear glass smashing and a scream so I bolt downstairs but when I get to the last step the scenery changes. I'm standing by a bunch of giant trees and there is water near by because I can hear the rush of it. Then another scream echo's towards me and I dash off towards the sound. Everytime I get close though, the sound moves to another location until finally it stop's. In front of me is Ali on the edge of a cliff with A pointing a gun at her._

_"Jump or I kill Emily." The hooded figure say's and Ali prepares to jump._

_"Wait." I scream, attempting to by myself some time to think. Seconds pass until A speaks up._

_"We are waiting Emily Fields."_

_"I will take the bullet. Do not make Alison jump." I state confidently but Ali shakes her head._

_"I'm not making Alison DiLaurentis do anything, I'm simply giving her a choice. Alison time to chose."_

_"No not this time. I am protecting you this time." With that she leans forward and falls off. I take off after her before she even leaps. The cliff never end's though and suddenly we are back into her bedroom. Alison's room looks the exact same as before except for one difference, Alison isn't in here. "Find her," a voice echoes. I try the door but it's locked._

_"Mass plus enough amount of force will open this door." I tell myself and run straight for it. Thankfully, it opens upon impact. "Find her" the voice repeats itself and for some reason my legs take me to a secluded area outside her. Opening a small passage I walk through to a hideout. There are beer bottles lining the floor and a small bed to the side. On the bed is the girl I am crazily, madly, deeply in love with._

_Walking up to her, I see that she isn't moving or breathing. I shake her but she doesn't budge and thats when I see her wrists. They are slashed to shreds with a note right beside her. "You're to late." The voice echoes and the cackles. I can immediately tell it was A talking to me.*_

I jolt awake, my sweat covered body shaking and I feel beside me. There is a body that is warm, with blond hair and I visibly relax. She is ok it was just a dream Em. I needed a small walk, I leave Alison alone and walk downstairs to my kitchen. I lean against the stove and the clock reads 4:15 am. Sighing, I realize in a little less then three more hours till my mum gets home and I will explain everything. Well, everything about Alison and her family. Suddenly, somebody grabs my shoulder and I turn into panic mode. I turn around to punch the person but stop when I see a hungover, tired, beautiful Alison DiLaurentis in shock.

"What the hell Alison!" I burst out to her, mad mostly at myself for not recognizing it was Ali but still mad for her scaring me.

"I'm sorry. I just came to check up on you. I didn't mean to scare you." She replies, shaken slightly by my outburst at her.

"It's fine I just... It's been a long night." Instead of replying she just walks closer and hugs me close.

"Em your a bit sweaty. Bad dream?"

"Like I said it was a long night. By the way how did I get up to my room? I remember falling asleep on the couch." I question.

"Funny story actually. I picked you up to the stairs and then set you on a sled and pulled you up to your room." She say's smiling a bit.

"Well that's interesting. You know you could have just woken me up, right?"

"You looked so peaceful even though you had tear stains and I didn't want to wake you up."

We hug for 20 seconds more before she pulls away but still hold hands. The silence that envelops us is peaceful and nice as if we can communicate without word's. Then the silence becomes deafening when she pulls away completely. I know I told Ali that we were gonna work on us after she kissed me but I miss her lips. She is looking down so I tilt her head up and brush some hair out of her face. Slowly, I lean in half way and she leans in the rest.

The kiss is slow and passionate but quickly becomes hard and open mouthed. Ali pushes me against the stove top and runs her hands threw my hair. We pull away from eachother to catch our breath and I smile.

"Woah." She whispers and I nod.

"Em, I'm-" I cut her off from her billionth apology tonight alone.

"I dislike it strongly when you apologize for stuff that you have already apologized for Ali. It's ok and yes I know you made a mistake but I understand why ok. You've even already started to let me in what is a great thing. We can begin to work on us because you did and because I understand. And I do want an us so, just I forgive you. No more apologizing."

"But why?" She asks in a quiet voice.

"Because you are worth so much to me." I reply back and she looks up, putting a hand against my cheek to cradle it.

"You always know what to say." I laugh.

"I'm tired so let's head back to bed Ali. We have school in a couple of hour's."

"Correction you do, I don't." I pause and then remember, she hasn't gone to school in a month. It isn't like she could just show up again randomly.

"Where do you go to school then?"

"I just do some online college courses but I'm gonna talk to guidance today and see if I can take a test to graduate early. Maybe see if they will make an exception." I nod and then take her hand, leading her back to bed.

As we enter my room, Ali yawns and I smirk.

"Somebody tired?"

"How aren't you it's almost 5 am! The bed is calling me practically. My head is pounding though."

"The problems of being hungover." I state simply and we slip under the covers. Ali turn's away from me and the amount of space between us is unwelcoming.

"Ali, can you um. Can you come cuddle maybe?" With I hear Ali shift and then feel her arm drape over my tummy. Sunuggling into her, I have a feeling this time my sleep will be nightmare free.


	29. 29

**HELLO WORLD! I am back after a week of being gone and I apologize for the wait on this chapter. The past week has bbeen super busy. I had like 3 tests and 2 essays and the weekend was busy with family stuff. Hopefully it will not take that long to update again! I don't own pll and warning for self harm! Please review and fave and alert and all that jazz! -lexus**

Alison's POV.

I wake up to birds singing and outside it's raining. Rubbing my eye's and looking outside, I see that it's still early and the alarm hasn't gone off yet.

"First time for everything." I whisper to myself and smile down at Emily. After our make out session last night, we fell asleep cuddling. Em didn't have another nightmare and I finally slept without keeping one eye open constantly.

"Emily dear wake-up" I hear Pam Fields call from behind the closed door and then walk away. Shaking Em, she slowly wakes up with a yawn.

"What time is it?" She questions before streching.

"Your mom just got home so I'm assuming early."

"Usually she doesn't get home this early." Em states, looking at the time on her phone and then showing me.

*5:50 am*

"We've only slept for like an hour since we last woke up so why do I feel so rested?" I ask and she shrugs.

"I don't know but I feel the same way. I should probably tell my mum since we have time." I nod and go to turn off the alarm as she walk's out of the room. I stand in her room looking around at the 4 walls and a door that surround me, thinking about how Pam Fields was going to take the topic of her living with them possibly.

Walking out of the room silently and down the hall, the sound of two people whispering is evident. I go to step closer to hear them but as I step, the floorboards creek loudly.

"Shit." I whisper to myself and rush back to Em's room as quickly and quietly as possible. I quickly go to the closest and sit down in front of it to look at some clothes.

"I know you were listening in Ali." Somebody announces from behind me before sitting down and wrapping their arms around my body. I tense because even though I know it's Em, I haven't felt like this in a month and being alone for so long changes you, I am proof of that.

As I relax, Em puts her head on my shoulder and hugs me even tighter.

"Did you hear what we were talking about downstairs?" She asks and I shake my head no in response.

"Ok do you want me to tell you?" She asks again, already knowing the answer. I nod and I can feel her smile on my shoulder.

"My mum and I were talking about this amazing girl who I am head of heels for," Emily gives me a playful kiss on my neck. "She is smart," Em kisses my shoulder. "She is beautiful," another kiss but this time on the other shoulder. "She is kinda reckless," I smile, turn my head to face her slightly and gasp.

"I am not!"

"How do you know if I'm talking about you Ali?" She questions seriously and I lower my head. She is right. We haven't talked about what's really happened over the past month. What if she is seeing somebody or even worse is in love with them. Even though she has been kissing me, what if that was to let me down slowly.

"Now let me finish." I turn back around, symbolizing she can continue. "And best of all, she is completely mesmerizing in so many ways it takes my breath away." With that she turns my entire body to face me with ease. "This girl I'm talking about, it's Alison Dilaurentis." As Em talks, she puts a hand on the back of my head and leans in half way, waiting for me to close the gap. Without a second to waste, I crash our lips together and we just sit there kissing until we are both out of breath. Our faces stay an inch apart and I smile.

"She said you can live with us Ali."

"Really?" I ask almost on the brink of tears because of what Em said and the possibility of having a home.

"Yea, but no more running ok. No matter what." Emily replies seriously.

"Never again." She grabs my arms in excitement but I wince and she let's go automatically. When Em looks at me, her eye's are filled with such remorse and sadness that my stomach fills with guilt.

"I'm sorry." I state quietly and go to get up but she reaches for my hands, keeping me seated.

"Ali let me see, I bought some supply's in case this ever happened again so I'm prepared." I nod and take off the baggy T-shirt. Thankfully, I only cut on my arms and not to deep.

"Is this all of them Ali?"

"Yea, thats it." I sit there and look at my body. Though I'm not in the same mentality I was in a month ago, its pretty close. Every cut I've ever made will be there for a long time and it baffles my mind how somebody as pure as Em could ever fall for me. Suddenly, I feel Em put her one arm under my knees and and the other wraps around my back, successfully picking me up. She carries me all the way to her washroom. Once she sets me down on the sink counter, she asks me a question in a worried tone.

"Ali, why does it feel like I'm picking up a piece of paper when I pick you up?"

"I'm not that light." I reply avoiding her question.

"Babe, when was the last time you ate something?" I look away to the clock that is ticking and realize that even though we woke up early, she is gonna be late for school.

"Alison, look at me." She states and moves my head gently to look at her face.

"I eat stuff all the time, look at me Emily you can tell!" I whisper forcefully. She looks at me with such astonishment at what I just said and I stare into her eye's. Finally, she speaks up,

"Ali, I'm skipping school today." I do a double take because Emily never skips school unless it's really important.

"But-" I start but she interrupts me.

"No buts Alison. I don't have anything important like tests or essays. You and I are just going to be together today. I'm not gonna leave you after a comment like that because you are beautiful." I stay quiet during her talk because I honestly have no idea how to reply. She cares so damn much and I don't deserve even a second of her time.

Out of nowhere, three words slip out of my mouth before I can stop them.

"I love you." She smiles, then grabs my hand and places it on her heart.

"I love you too." We stay like that for another minute before she puts my hand back down on the counter and reaches for some first aid stuff under the sink. She pulls out some spray on hydrogen peroxide.

"This is gonna hurt worse then before cause their infected. I'm sorry." She states and then sprays the liquid on both arms rapidly. She was right, cleaning the cuts hurt a lot more this time. After each spray, I take a shaky breath trying to keep myself from shedding tears. Em pats my arms, signaling she's done and then turns around. I think she's going to walk out but Emily just crouches slightly, her back turned to me. After 30 seconds of wondering what she is doing, Em speaks up, giggling.

"Are you gonna hop on or just sit on the counter baffled and confused?" A thought jumps into my head and I immediately know what she is doing. I hop onto her and she makes sure I'm secure on her back. Then Em takes off, running through the house with me on her back and all worry's, all thoughts, everything just falls to the back of my mind.


	30. 30

**hey I'm back with another chapter and it hasn't been a week yet so be proud! Somebody PM'd me asking why I was writing this story and II am slightly assuming some other reader is wondering so I thought it was best to just answer here. First reason is I love to write. Second is some of this story is relatable to my past/present and third is pretty little liars/Emison is one of my biggest ships. So ya thats that! Please review and all that jazz. Your reviews motivate me and I definitely will incorporate your idea into the story is you tell me them! Until the next chapter -lexus**

Emily POV.

As soon as Ali say's, "I eat stuff all the time, look at me Emily you can tell!" I automatically know that the past month for her has been even worse then I assumed. Deciding to stay home today is a must. Today, Ali and I are just going to hang out be and most importantly make her know how amazing she is, I think to myself. I set up a small, quick plan in my head and then turn away from Ali. After almost 30 seconds, I speak up, hinting to Ali what I was trying to do.

"Are you gonna hop on or just sit on the counter baffled and confused?" Less then five seconds later, I feel a body on my back and I wrap my arms around her legs, securing her on my back. As we run out the bathroom, I feel Ali relax and then as we approach the stairs she tenses back up. I stand staring down the flight of stairs and Ali states seriously,

"Emily Catherine Fields, do not drop me for the love of god." I smile and then reply.

"Like this?" I question backing away from the stairs slightly and double checking Ali is on my back properly. Then I charge the stairs and run down them, the entire time gleefully saying, "yippeeeeeeee!" Meanwhile at the same time, Ali is screaking so mixed together we sound like two cats in a blender. I gracefully jump down the last two steps of the stairs and pretend to slip a little.

"Emily!" She screachs and her grip on my body tightens. I giggle at her response and walk to the kitchen. The entire time Alison has buried her head in my neck, terrified I'm going to drop her still. As we enter the kitchen, I come to find that my mum is making breakfast.

"Good morning girl's." She say's warmly and Ali takes her out of the crook of my neck. I set her down on the ground and she briskly walks to my mum.

"Thanks you for letting me stay with you Mrs Fields" Ali expresses and then puts out her hand awkwardly for a hand shake.

"Alison call me Pam and it really isn't a big deal. You're always welcome here." She then grabs Alison's hand and pulls her in for a hug. At first Ali is stiff but rapidly relaxes and smiles.

"You have no idea how much that means Mrs-... I mean Pam." My mom looks up to me and smiles. I nod back. Shortly after they pull apart and my mom states she made breakfast for us and to enjoy as she walks up to stairs to her room.

"It looks so good." Ali announces as I put home fries and a cheese omelette on her plate.

"There is also orange juice in the fridge if you want some." I respond, knowing it's her favorite. While she sets her plate down on the table to get something to drink, I load up mine with more food then could probably eat. I sit down across from Ali at the table. Immediately, I begin to dig in and by the time I'm half way done my plate I realize that Ali has only taken a couple bits of the food on her plate.

"Ali," I start but she just shakes her head, knowing where this is going.

"I can't Em. You don't know what it's like." She starts but little does she know, I had the same problem too at one point.

"Ali I do know what its like okay. I know that feeling of being afraid to eat. The feeling that if you even eat one bit, everybody will see how fat you are and how that one bit of food will change everything. I know that feeling Ali." It goes silent after I finish talking for a couple minutes.

"You..." I nod in response.

"When?" She asks quietly.

"Couple months before you disappeared and a couple months after too. The feelings you have felt, I've felt them too Ali." Ali just stares at me completely confused.

"How didn't I see it." She whispers to herself.

"You didn't see it because I didn't want you to see it. I thought that if I was skinnier and better and prettier maybe you would like me. If I was skinnier I would be faster too for swimming and there was pressure and it all became to much. I realize now looking back that I needed somebody to just see I was hurting and to just listen."

"It was my fault, wasn't it?" Ali questions and I shake my head.

"No it was the fact that I couldn't admit how I felt and how much pressure everybody put on me to be a certain way. It was about attaining perfection and you rejecting me just was a small part of that. Plus Alison I forgave you for that already." My response seems to make Ali worry less.

"Ali, you need to eat okay." I try again and she nods and then begins to eat. I smile and focus back on my plate.

Once we are both finished eating, I look up to find a pair of piercing blue eye's staring at me with such caring and I blush.

"What do you want to to today Ali?"

"Whatever you want to do works for me." She replies and I smile.

"No silly it's your day. You chose." Ali thinks seriously for a minute before responding.

"I want to take you somewhere special. Somewhere I should have taken you years ago." I ponder where she might be taking me but draw a blank in the end.

"Ooo and where is this mystery place?" I question hoping to get a real response.

"I'm not gonna tell you silly, you get to guess until we get there." I smile at her reply. Surprises are one of my favorite thing's but also not the suspense kills me, figuratively.

"Oh and I'm driving too. Now go get ready, I got cleaning up." Ali states, grabbing both of our plates and putting them in the dishwasher. I nod, then scurry upstairs following Ali's order. Rushing to my closet, I look outside my window to see what the weather is like. It has stopped raining and is now snowing. "I swear the weather here is so confusing." I say out loud. Picking out my demi warrior beanie, a black sleeved shirt and off black pants. Deciding what converse shoes and jacket was a lot harder then picking out the rest of my cloths.

I settle on a pair of gray all-stars and a black/white varsity jacket. Just as I am putting on my jacket, Ali walks in.

"You look stunning." She announces and I blush.

"It's just what I wear typically." I exclaim.

"I know silly but you are still breath taking. Now I just have to get dressed and ready, then we can go."

"Ok awesome possum." I say walking to my bathroom and I faintly hear Ali call me a nerd.


	31. 31

**hello fan fiction world! It's been awhile but I'm back with a super fluffy cute chapter! Please review and again so so sorry for the long week! School is crazy right now love you all and its remembrance day so thank you to the veterans and those who currently still serve -lexus**

Alison's POV.

Shes such a nerd, I think to myself smiling. Shes my nerd though, hopefully. Thats the plan at least because even though we were together and then broke up and we say how much we care about one another, it's not official. But is it to early? I just got back from the second time hiding, we are still fighting A, maybe it's to early, I consider as I get changed.

"Either way I'm taking her to that spot and talking about feelings. Then, baby steps." I state silently to the face looking back at me in the mirror. Patting out some wrinkles in my pants, I smile at my reflection. Then I turn and walk away to find Em. As I step past the bathroom door it flings open and hits me onto the floor. A stunned Emily pops out quickly from behind.

"Shit sorry Ali." Em states rapidly and gives me a hand up but as soon as I take it, I pull her down with me. She lands directly on top of my body, our faces centimeters apart. Her usually chocolate eye's, are now almost black, clouded by lust. We stay like that, our eye's locked on eachother for another 10 seconds until she crashes her lips on mine. My hands immediately go through her hair and we stay like that on the floor making out for another 5 minutes until a sound from her mom's room brings us back to reality. We rapidly get off the floor and straighten our cloths just as her mom opens her bedroom door.

"Oh hello girls." Pam Fields states, startled.

"Hey, we were just about to leave." Emily replies, flustered and blushing before she takes my hand and leads me down the stairs to the car. Once we are outside of her house she tosses the keys to me and hops in thharder

I follow her, getting into the drivers side and start the ignition. As soon as we're both in the car, I look over to her and she looks at me the same time. We burst out laughing.

"My mum oh god imagine her-" Em starts before wiping a tear from her eyes before continuing to talk while laughing. "Her opening the room door to find us making out on the floor." At that comment I start to laugh even harder.

"Oh god your mum would be so shocked." I reply crying from laughing so hard. Finally after a couple more minutes our laughter dies down and I pull out of her driveway.

"So are you gonna tell me where were going?" Emily questions and I just shake my head no. I turn on the radio and what the heart wants begins to play by Selena Gomez. Immediately I sigh, thinking on how ironic it is and change the station. After three more station changes, I finally find a suitable song that had just began.

"She's like cold coffee in the morning,

I'm drunk of last nights whiskey and coke,

She'll make me shiver without warning,

and make me laugh as if I'm in on the joke,

And you can stay with me forever,

Well you could stay with me for now"

I sing quietly knowing automatically it's Cold Coffee by End Sheeran. Out of nowhere, Em jumps in singing the next part.

"Tell if I'm wrong,

Tell me if I'm right,

Tell me if you need a longing hand to help you fall asleep tonight,

Tell me if I know,

Tell me if I do,

Tell me how to fall in love the way you want me to." Looking over to her quickly, I see her staring at me while she sings. Her brown eye's sparkling like they used to when she saw me, before I ran away. Before everything that had happened.

"I'll wake with coffee in the morning,

But she prefers tulips of sugar and tea,

Outside the day is up and calling,

But I don't have to be so please go back to sleep.

And stay with me forever,

Well you could stay with me for now."

I sing again, louder this time with more confidence. I reach for her hand and our hands enclapse together in the middle.

"Tell me if I'm wrong,

Tell me if I'm right,

Tell me if you need a loving hand to help you fall asleep tonight,

Tell me if I know,

Tell me if I do,

Tell how to fall in love the way you want me to," she finishes and I pull into a small parking lot beside the forest. Shutting off the ignition, I mentally prepare myself for the possibitly of rejection. Of her saying no, that she can't deal with me and my problems or the fact that she could just not want to be with me in general. She gets out of the car before I do and waits for me.

I get out of the car too and walk up to her re-entangling our hands, that gives me some courage.

I walk and lead her to our spot, our rock. By this point, she knows were we are going and as we approach it, I could still clearly see an A+EF encircled by a heart, all in red. I remember fondly painting that on the rock about two months before I disappeared. We walk right in front of the rock and I turn away from Em. The whole idea of what I'm about to do is so nerve wracking. It's not like we've never been together but this time, I was asking at our spot after being away and just getting back. After breaking Emily's heart and almost drinking myself into a coma for the past month. After everything thats gone on recently.

Turning back around, I see that Em is sitting on the rock waiting for me to do whatever I was supposed to do.

"Um so I told you a little over a month ago at the restaurant I'm not good at expressing feelings but I did then anyway. And you knew that before too. Anyway back on topic, Emily I've been gone and I've been back and A has tortured us all but one thing hasn't changed over the past crazy years and that is how I feel about you. How I feel when I kiss you and when you hug me and tell me that everything is gonna be ok. How much safer you make me feel and how protective I feel over you. How much you mean to me. That feeling hasn't ever changed, not once and I'm positive it won't ever change. At the beginning of these feelings I was afraid and vindictive and controlling though, so I settled for pushed you away. That was one of my many terrible mistakes. And then running away twice wasn't also proving how much you matter to me and lying isn't either. So I am admiting I'm a mess, a complete ball of mistakes. But I can prove how much I care for you by being vulnerable around you and not being afraid and by talking about how I feel. By not hiding from who I am and the fact that you matter so so much to me. More than any other person on this planet. And I realize I'm rambling but I ramble because of how strongly I feel for you. Anyway, I know it's really soon since I've been back but I was wondering if you would want to be my girlfriend for the foreseeable future or at least for as long as you can put up with me?"

Emily just sits doing her cute little smile and I see a small tear slide down her face.

"I wouldn't want to." She starts and my heart shatters but then she continues. "It would be my absolute pleasure to be your girlfriend Alison Dilaurentis." I release a breath I didnt know that my lungs were holding and smile. My heart jumps for joy and rush up to her giving her a kiss.

She said yes! SHE SAID YES! That is the only thought I have in my brain.


	32. 32

Hello I'm back! Two things different about this chapter. Thing one is that this is the beginning of everything escalading and its super super short. Reason two this chapter is gonna be a little different because I'm writing it in Paige's POV. I thought since this story is probably gonna be 5-7 more chapters long (the last chapter is going to be an epilog) that I should write one chapter from one of my least favorite characters point of view. Confusing a tad but yea here is the chapter.

Chapter 32: Paige's POV.

No... No... How could she? How could Emily say yes to that bitch? To somebody who tore her down constantly, when she could have me. Somebody who is there for her and cares and loves her actually. I've tried to make her open her eyes and see that all Alison Dilaurentis is, is a liar who manipulates her. Who never loved her.

Maybe if I show her Alison's real side. The side that I see when I look through her mask, maybe then Emily will love me like I love her. Now how do we prove this to Emily... What do I have to do to Alison to prove that Emily is not important to her. I think about the multiple ways to prove that Alison doesn't care to prove to Emily until I remember what happened to me with Lyndon James. Something the that effect would work with them because of how sweet and loyal my Emily is.

A simple note to Emily, telling her Alison wanted to see her somewhere secure, like when Ali and her met back together. I grit my teeth at the thought but it is pushed back when I remember my planning. A simple note, she shows up, some knock out gas and Bob's your uncle as they say. Then send something to Alison a day later stating that Emily is with A because Alison probably won't even notice she's gone. Another reason she doesn't deserve Emily, all she thinks about is herself. Back to the plan, I mentally scold myself. Then Alison comes without her liars because they hate her and knock out gas for her too. Tie them both to chairs and make Alison make her choice. Save herself or save Emily. I don't care whether or not big A approves of this because I'm doing it either way.

I walk into my house to find it empty. Perfect, all to myself to finish adding the new touches to my plan. Opening my door to my room, I quickly check to see if I have everything I need to put this idea from my head into reality. One of the biggest advantages to being on the A-team is that you're always prepared. I pull two gas masks with a small purple fluid attached to it, out of my desk and smile.

"Great, now all I need to do is write the note and then Emily will come running. But how do I make the note look like Alison's writing." I ask myself. If I type it, she will never know the difference. I write into the night, attempting to type up something short and sweet but every time I get halfway done, I restart. Finally, by the time the letter is finished, my clock reads 3:05 am.

Time for bed, we have a long couple of days ahead of us.


End file.
